feeling sad tonight

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
feeling sad tonight
3
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 4:08pm
hi im new to these boards but ive been reading them for the past few days and think this is the place for me, i have just split up with my boyfriend of 2 years and i feel as if im going to die of a broken heart, i though i was going to spend forever with him, we had talked about buying a house together and getting married. without going into everything i ended it with him 2 weeks ago because he turns out not to be a very nice person after a drink(need i say more) and as much as im hurting now i could not trust him not to be like that again i would be forever worried, the sad thing is he was near perfect without a drink. sorry for goinh on and on but im hurting so much, what makes it worse he didnt even seem sorry for what had happened, he said he had never slept and had been crying but he couldnt look me in the eye, and since then(this was 2 days after we split) he hasnt even txt to say sorry or to ask if i am ok. how can you think you know someone so well and then something like this happen, please tell me how to feel better! thanks for listening everyone, hugs sweetie.xx
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 4:32pm

Hello sweetie2020!

Pianoguy would like to start with a few hugs...(see the icon)...cuz it's obvious that you need a few. !

2nd...do you have any ice cream or something sweet in the fridge? If you do, read the following response....then PAMPER YOURSELF a little with one or the other.

Since ALL breakups involve some sort of 'emotional disappointment'...you probably don't want to consider what your life MIGHT HAVE BEEN 1 YEAR FROM TODAY?

You were dating a man who didn't consider YOU the priority! His preference was for liquor and that preference would probably remain in effect until HIS LIVER COMPLETELY ROTTED AWAY? As comforting as a "social drink" can be for many of us...a few too many drinks can bring out THE WORST POSSIBLE BEHAVIOR! So even if you consoled, lectured, warned, threatened or demanded a change in this man...he PROBABLY would've laughed in your face and continued drinking?

Where does this leave YOU?

The answer.....in the company of a man who will treat you like crap! And while he might be completely "OKAY" when he's SOBER....it's not a lifestyle that ANYBODY should have to put up with.

Feel any better now? Good...........now go get that dish of ice cream!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2005
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 4:32pm
Because people change. I hate to be blunt about it but it's the only explanation I've been able to come up with.
My heart goes out to you and your pain. I was friends with my ex for 3 years, then we dated 3 years. Less than a month before he broke up with me he had asked my mom's permission to marry me. He broke up with me for reasons such as "I need space, I need to mature before we make that committment, I'm not financially stable enough for that committment right now... BLAH BLAH BLAH". We broke up end of May but continued to call me every day, see me about once a week. We even went to KY together to visit friends and slept in the same bed one night. 2 weeks after we got back, he suddenly stops calling me and I find out a week later he's dating a girl with a 5 year old and an infant.
Hmmmm... not ready for commitment?
Hmmmm... sounds to me like he was just lying.
And I had known this guy 6 years! At least 2 of which we were talking about getting married one day (I'm only 19 right now so "talking about it" for 2 years is quite acceptable at my age... in fact when we talked about it we always talked in reference to when I finished college)
So no matter how much you think you knew him, you may not have. Maybe he lied, maybe he just changed. There's no way of knowing really. :( I'm sorry
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 11:46am
hi pianoguy, thanks for your words of wisdom, it helped! i am going to take your advice and eat lots of good for me ice cream, also thanks for the hugs, i live in england so it took a while for them to get here,hehe thanks again sweetie.xx