Feeling Weak

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Feeling Weak
3
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 8:19pm
Okay here is the deal. The guy that I was dating for 8 months wound up seeing his ex of 5 years behind my back. When I found out about it I confronted him and our relationship ended. I have gone 22 days without contact but feel sad, he preoccupies my thoughts. We had been friends 10 years prior to dating so I miss having him in my life. My job keeps me busy and I have been keeping myself busy so as not to contact him. He did a rotten thing and obviously didn't care for me as much as he said. The strange thing is that I know it is healthier to have nc but I miss his companionship. Can anyone relate?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2004
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 8:24pm
Hi csaratogagirl,
I would bet that just about everyone here can relate! You've done NC 22 days and that's really great! I'm sure that took a lot of strength. Of course you're still going to feel the pain and you're going to miss him. Having known him for 10 years, this leaves a hole in your life. You're smart to keep busy. Realize that you will be fine without him. Don't forget that he treated you badly and you deserve better! Stay strong!
Hugs, Laura
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2005
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 8:25pm
i can definitely relate. i broke up with my bf over a month ago and have had NC. you'll have some bad days, but i really believe its the best thing, unless you want to get back with him. that's another story. however, most probably you are feeling lonely right now. i know i go through that now and then. and you definitely shouldn't do the "lets be friends' thing unless you really have moved on. a poster on this board posted something that stuck with me, that unless you think you could truly be happy for your ex if you found out he was with someone else i don't think you'd be ready to reconnect as friends.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2005
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 8:27pm

Yes I can relate,but you not only lost bf, but sounds like you were good friends before hooking up. That's got to be tough. My bf was pretty much one of the first people I met when I moved to my new city. So the idea of no contact is definitely a hard one to accept. I have to make an effort to meet other people so I have others to turn to for friendship. Maybe somewhere way down the road you can re-establish the friendship since it was strong before you got involved. I have only been able to do this after years pass, but some people seem to be able to handle this better than others.
Sorry for you pain.

Leslie