Feels like another knife in the gut.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2006
Feels like another knife in the gut.....
2
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 12:29pm
deleted 7/27/2006 2:03 pm ET by flowergirl7


Edited 7/27/2006 4:30 pm ET by flowergirl7
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 1:27pm

First things first...just a word to the wise--you might want to edit your post to take out the f word. Even masked profanity is a violation of Ivillage rules so your post could be removed.

As for the substance of your post--I think your best bet is to get into counseling with someone who focuses on cognitive behavior therapy. That's exactly what that type of therapy focuses on--changing your thought patterns as a means to changing your behavior patterns.

And IMO, it won't do any good to email him with your thoughts...he doesn't care, and you will hurt yourself by having contact! The only way to get closure is to ACCEPT, in your heart and bones, that he's not right for you. That's a process and it requires no contact.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 1:39pm
I think he was only using the fertility as an excuse. I'm so sorry you are going through this. As far as being obsessed - I totally know what that feels like. I was obsessed with my on/off boyfriend for a long time. I finally had to take a step back and realize what I was doing to myself. I had lost all self esteem and felt worthless. He would say things to me like, "You are useless! That's why you don't have any friends!" I lost sight of all goals but the goal of pleasing him. I recommend the following books to everyone on this board "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken" and "He's Just Not That Into You" by Greg Behrendt. In fact I'm running them over to a friend of mine who has just endured a devastating breakup when I get off work. These books have helped me regain my self esteem. They infuse advice with common sense and humor. I was famous for begging my boyfriend and drunk dialing him. After reading these books I realized how unattractive and desperate I sounded. I want to be dignified and cool. I also don't want to give him control over the situation. Read the books and visit this board. We can all help each other get through it.