fighting the temptation
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fighting the temptation
| Tue, 05-10-2005 - 10:27am |
I just woke up this morning with a strong urge to email him. He moved away and said he would write to better explain why he broke up with me. I know in my heart there can be no good explanation but yet I wake up each morning wondering if today is the day he has written. Still nothing and I know he settled into his new place at least 4 days ago. I've gone 11 days without contacting him and it was two weeks ago last night that he called to tell me it was over- or he thought it was over, but was "so confused" he wasn't sure what was going on with him. I know he has issues he has to figure out. I just need some reinforcement to keep me from contacting him today. Thanks!

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Don't contact him, let him come to you. Go shopping or make cookies and give them to your neighbors.
Let him wonder.
this is what i have written on a post-it above my laptop:
IF I EMAIL HIM... AND HE
(1) WRITES BACK - WHAT THEN?? WHAT IS THE POINT IN REOPENING A BAD WOUND?
AND EVEN IF HE WRITES SOMETHING PLEASANT - THATS JUST GOING TO GIVE ME FALSE HOPE
AND IF HE WRITES SOMETHING NEGATIVE - THAT'LL JUST DESTROY ME EVEN MORE
(2)DOESNT WRITE BACK - IM GOING TO FEEL EVEN MORE CRAPPIER...
IF HE REALLY WANTED TO BE IN TOUCH WITH ME - HE WOULD... BUT SINCE HE HASNT
(1)I NEED TO TAKE A HINT.
(2)IM NOT GOING TO STEP DOWN FROM MY DIGNITY AND PRIDE...
stay strong -
goodluck!
eeksj
You can do it! He said he would write.... so give him the chance. He is probably very involved with moving and putting off the inevitable. I'm so sorry he did this, but you are being very strong!!
Just remember, there isn't anything you could write right now to change his mind, it would either make him feel better, or piss him off, whichever direction you were thinking of going with your letter. Give him time, he did this, and all you can do is wait. But like you said, what can he really say at this point? You've got this great head start of not contacting him, just hold on k?
And if he never does write,and cowards out of it, then you know exactly where his heart is. so sorry, hugs to you, you can do this!!
Okay, just a little trick one of my friend told me about.
At a moment where you feel strong et confident that you should not contact him, write down theses reasons, and put that piece on paper near your phone and your computer. So that when you feel like you just need to call you will have a reminder of the reasons why you shouldnt.
I'm going through a break up of my own, and I put a list of the reason why I am better without him near my phone, it help me to deal with all the confusing feeling that i have
thanks for your thoughts. I've been with out contact with my X for 11 days also and i'm having the urge to call but at the same time i wan't to have no contact with him at all because i know it will hurt me even more. He lives only 10 min. away from me and i hate going anywhere because i'm afraid to see him. I don't know what my reactions are going to be when i do see him. But, i am hurting alot and feel so betrayed. Hang in there, my X also told me he was confused and didn't know what he wanted to do with life and that i should go out and experience other things (other people also). I know you probably feel like crap since you've had no contact with him what so ever but, it's probably best that you dont, because it only takes you back to the begining where you are hurt and left with all those imotions that only make you feel worse.
thanks again and hang strong.
I don't think you should call him - What if he is just looking for an excuse to get away from you.!
Or' Maybe he just needs time to think about the relationship - and if you don't give him space to do so - he won't get that chance!
I'm sorry I dont' me to be mean and cruel - but when it comes to see the reality we do have to be very honest and realistic!.
Grace
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