finally broke up w/him

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2004
finally broke up w/him
4
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 6:58pm

hey all.. i guess i dont have any questions.. i just need some support

as some of you might know.. ive been thinking of ending it with a GREAT guy for a while now. ive been just missing something in the relationship for a while and ive tried to wait it out cause i really wanted it to work and i just couldnt feel that it was right. i know my reasons are good and solid...i shouldnt be with someone who i have to constantly evaluate my feelings for. i know that we were headed for marriage and that scared me and made me feel trapped. i know that he deserves someone who loves him as much as he loves me and i cant give that to him.

i know all this stuff.. but its so hard... i still cant help but think that i may have given up the most caring, kindest, amazing man - and what is more upsetting is knowing that i broke his heart today, he was so upset and i care bear that i put that much pain on someone. i know ill be ok, and i know he will too... ive just never been on this side of the break up (always the one dumped)... and its reallly hard, i didnt think id be so sad- part of me just wants to call and say "lets try one more time" but ive been trying to make something be there for months now and it just isnt what i need right now... i dunno.. thats all.. im just sad... im really going to miss him and i really really hope i did the right thing

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 7:09pm

It is hard to break up with someone...not *quite* as hard as being broken up with, but close. It's totally normal to feel regrets and have 2nd thoughts but you had good reasons for making your decision. But of course you miss him! It would be much more weird if you *didn't*.

Be strong and don't give in to the doubts and contact him, if for no other reason than it will make it more difficult for him if you are ambivalent.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 7:20pm

hi kalynn

i'm just hoping that you did the right thing and wont regret later...well atleast your honest that you set him free and he could find someone that could love him also and your not selfish at all. about thinking of coming back with. dont make the situation more complicated...if ever you did that you will lose his respect to you. bcoz he will think that you are playing games and this is such a childish act. GOOD LUCK

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2004
Fri, 04-28-2006 - 1:33pm
i too broke up w/a great guy. We were actually engaged & suppose to be married. It was terrible & I actually wished he broke up w/me because I felt so bad. As I said, he was great, loving, attentive, etc. But, I knew he wasn't the one for me. We may still be together if teh pressure of the wedding wasn't on, but I had to make that decision if he was the one I would spend my life with & I knew he wasn't. I too was SO scared of regretting it. I already had the invites out & had to send out cancellation letters!! Horrible!! But, it is 6 months later and I know it was the right thing to do. I wish it were different, I wish I was in love with him...but you can't force that. Trust your gut, I know it sucks to be the one hurting someone- I am now on the opposite end of someone breaking with me & it sucks even more :o( I still believe if it's meant to be, it will be meant to be. Maybe you need time for yourself, you may realize he is the one- but you may realize that he isn't.... only time will tell.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Sat, 04-29-2006 - 7:19pm

Thank you.

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