Finally talked to him!
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| Thu, 11-09-2006 - 1:30am |
After two months, he called to let me know he's packed my things and will be bringing it over this weekend.
He was very nice over the phone and was acting like he wants to get back together, but getting back with him equals disaster. I know it and I don't want to do it.
My therapist told me that he'll either come over and hit on you, or he'll belittle you! Because he is a control freak and that I should not play his game. I just need to make sure I get everything back from his house and kick him out!
I've been all messed up since I talked to him last night. I'm getting ulcer type pains, upset stomach, anxiety, etc...
Logically, I have no doubts about how harmfull he is for me. But why do I still want him? This is sooooo crazy... I wish I could just be plain mad and hatefull. There is somewhere inside of me that still thinks he may change! ( believe me I know that's not going to happen!)
My head and my heart are not in synch! Please help me.....Tell me what's wrong with me?

Is there anyway he can drop your stuff off at a mutual friend's house and you can go and pick it up later? So you wouldn't have to face him? Or maybe have a friend or family member be at your house when he drops the stuff off so you won't have to be alone with him or better yet just have your friend be present in your place and tell your friend to tell him that you had some things to do and to just leave the stuff there?? You're not crazy by the way, you just need to keep telling yourself that he is not for you and you deserve better. Goodluck!
T.
He finally broght the stuff over along with a dozen red roses. He said he had gone back to his homeland because of how upset he was and had spend 3 days in the hospital there for very high blood pressure. He'd only been back for about a week.
When I asked if he was planning on calling me? He said, he waned ME to CALL!!!! Although he's the one who stopped calling!
Anyhow, he didn't try hard to get back together, basically being resigned to the fact that he had messed up our relationship and realized the decisions he had made in regards to his mom and brother, lead to all this chaos. The only victim here was me!! And him too but he didn't listen to me when I tried to tell him not to enable his brother, and his mom so much. People take advantage of u as long as you let them, it doesn't matter who it is sometimes.
Now I don't know how I feel! All I know is that it doesn't feel like it's been finalized?
When you stop trying to figure out how you "should feel" and just let your feelings wash over you,
Two months is not very long after a break up. Most people are still in the "want to get back together" or "I think there is a chance we can get back together" stage. What exactly was he saying over the phone that made you think he wants to get back together? If he packed your stuff and was bringing it over, that sounds pretty final to me. Two months after my ex dumped me, I was still in love with him and wanted him back very badly but I never contacted him and I am glad I didn't. Now, five months after he dumped me, I can truly say, I will never let him back in my life ever again and I don't miss him at all. During the last 5 months I went through the hurt, confused, and anger stages of a breakup. I am starting to feel that I am through all those stages and my heart is healed and I am ready to move on and date again.
You still want him because you haven't been apart that long but don't take his phone call as anything more than him just wanting to bring your stuff over. Most men do not change for any woman and if your ex is a control freak, he will never change.
Good luck.