First Breakup =.=
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| Wed, 05-24-2006 - 6:06pm |
this seemed like a good place to let it all out, for now, until i can find someone else to talk to.
yesterday i just brokeup with my first boyfriend of over 3 years... we had been dating since we were 16. we never had any big fights, we never cheated on each other, he was a good boyfriend..... i dont know what happened. i guess after so long, i thought about it again and again, something wasn't right, and although we love each other very much, i felt that he wasn't the one i wanted to be with for the rest of my life. i told him that i wanted some time and space to myself, to figure out what i wanted to do and who i was. after a while you kind of forget how it is to be on your own.
he told me that it would be okay, he seemed fine yesterday.. and he lead me to believe that we could still hangout and be friends. i was happy. i thought we could be cool. not so easy.
i saw him again today because he wanted to return some of my stuff.... little did i know he wanted to give me back all of things things i had ever bought him or gave to him (pictures i drew, clothes, everything)... i was so hurt. of course i wouldn't want his clothes back, what would i do with them? i didn't think that he would be so cold though, it's just stuff... yesterday he seemed so nice about it, but now i realize he was just hiding his true feelings... today he said he wants nothing to do with me. he doesn't want to see me, or talk to me, or be friends with me.... and i respect his decision, i know i hurt him and he's probably very upset with me... it's just so hard to hear that from someone whom you've loved and cared for and spend 3 years of your life with.
if he understands me so well (he really does) and knows that i want some space, why does he have to be so mean about it? i suppose i shouldn't blame him. is it just his way of trying to hurt me back?
i want to be friends with him again but i dont know if it'll ever happen. i guess it's too early to tell now. i feel really guilty for hurting him and i just want him to be okay... i can't talk to him about it anymore though because it's over. i'm not supposed to worry or care anymore, but i can't help it. i feel horrible... i'm afraid that he hates me.. the last thing i want in this world is for someone to hate me...
time will heal me i'm sure...
thank you for reading.....
- K

There is not much you can do at this point but to leave him be and allow him to grieve.
Him giving back all the stuff he gave you is his way of dealing with the hurt he is feeling. He knows that if comes across anything that reminds him of you two, it will make it that much harder for him to get over you and move on. When my first boyfriend broke up with me, I came home and furiously destroyed everything we had, stuffed it in a bag and gave it to him.
Just give him some time, then try to talk to him and see how he is.