First Love.....
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 03-15-2007 - 7:11pm |
Ok,
In a nutshell, we dated for a year almost to the date. We hit it off great, we used to work in the same resaurants, though in different sections. After about 4 months of dating, I got a job offer that sent me back home (2 1/2 hours away). I drove up to see him every weekend because 1. I missed the location of where I went to college. 2. I live with the rents to save money, he has an apartment in a great location. Anyways it was going great til about December and one night he pulled away hard core from me, and I asked him and we had a long talk and he said he was having doubts about his ability in to be in a relationship since he was so busy (24, still in undergrad with 6 classes, working at the restaurant 4 shifts a week, govt. reserve (not telling the branch)). We said we would work through it and everything seemed great. He even came down to my house for the first time the day after Christmas. But then things seemed distant, and I just kept trying hard to proove to him that things were still good between us, basically kidding myself. Once February hit we were having convo after convo about us, and he was pulling away and talked about taking a break. But first we were going to go away for a ski vacation for the weekend. We had an amazing weekend, but things were off once we got back, and I thought that maybe if I didn't come up the following weekend things would change. Basically criend the whole week (it was Valentines), and finally that Sunday I suggested that we take a break from talking to figure things out. Then that Thursday I drove the 2.5 hours up, to only have the worse 12 hours of my life. He broke up with me, though he was crying, hugging me, telling me he loved me and cared about me and there was no one he wanted to be with. He just doesn't think he could be a good boyfriend anymore to anyone, and that he was unhappy with the relationship. So after spending the night sleeping the same bed, I left. We have talked on and off for the past 3 weeks, always me contacting him and he back, but it hasn't been good, and I get hurt all the time and he tells me things haven't changed and won't change but he wants to be friends because he can't imagine me not in his life. He tells my friends and his friends that he is hurt and this is hard on him and he misses me, but he doesn't want to be together- it's so confusing....and heart breaking because I have hope, but at the same time I don't want to be strung along and put my life on hold....
I dunno what to do. I wrote a letter and I want to read it to him on the phone because there are alot of things in there that I haven't been able to voice to him. I believe that we may someday get back together, but not in the immediate future because he won't let it. Any suggestions out there besides cutting off contact?
