First Meeting Since He Dumped Me...
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| Wed, 10-27-2004 - 3:28pm |
He and I are getting together in a few days to talk about what happened ... I need some advice on how I should approach this .. I am doing this for ME .. so I can know face to face what the hell happened and start to move on ...(as I said before he broke up with me on MSN .. which didn't really give me a chance to say what I wanted to say...)
Do I start being friends with him when I know I'm probably not ready to make that job right now? I don't want to NOT be true to myself ... I know I might not get all the answers I'm looking for or want and realistically .. most people in this situation of being dumped out of nowhere would get honest answers .. but I'm just wondering how to approach this ... I know it's going to hurt ... but seeing as the break up wasn't done face to face .. it's hard for me to just accept things and move on .. anything advice is welcome ... thanks ..
Lynne

Is there a typo in your post? I ask because my take is that most people being dumped out of nowhere do NOT get honest answers from their exes (contrary to what you say in your post). Every time I've tried to get answers, they are either not honest or they say something like "I don't know". It's never helped (but that hasn't stopped me from trying, so I understand why you are!).
In any event, I hope the meeting isn't too painful and doesn't set you back too far. But after that, regardless of whether you get answers or not, you need to start "no contact" with your ex, so that you can begin to move on.
Sheri
try to remember that this is his problem and it is not about you...it is all about him...so he is goofy and does not even have the respect for you to break up in person....i would not want to give him the satisfaction of a face to face meeting...
i really think this meeting will set you back to square one.
my ex kinda sorta broke up with me on the phone on a sunday(he said we should slow things down)...then emailed me monday to ask me out to dinner tuesday....so i went...and i am so sorry i went...the dinner was horrible..he just sat there and did not talk..i think he wanted to make it uncomfortable for me...so in the car on the way home i said why dont we just cool it...and he made no protestations...so i guess that is what he wanted..he emailed and called for a couple of weeks but now i am determined to have no contact..not that i think he will be contacting me again anyway but this has helped me to move on...but if i had it to do over again i would NOT have gone to dinner with him.....
good luck and let us know how it goes
I ended up meeting him tonight and in the end .. I'm OK and going to be OK .. this is NOT someone I want in my life AT ALL ... he told me basically for the past 5 months I was a "friend with benefits" and he says the way things turned out between us it shouldn't have happened .. oh well .. his loss .. I know I deserve better and will find better .. I don't need this crap in my life and won't sit here and listen to him try to explain things when he is lying to himself and doesn't even have a clue about what he thinks/feels ... now he's telling me I met him at a bad time in his life .. lala .. whatever .. I'm sick of hearing him try and make himself feel better .. when I know he's trying to do just that ... but I know I need to look after ME and that it's about time I did that and this meeting has given me a sense that now I can start to move on .. and not feel this holding me back ... talk to you all soon ...
Lynne