The fog is starting to lift

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2007
The fog is starting to lift
2
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 6:45pm

Each day I feel a little better. All the advice here has been so helpful. I've been working hard, NC for 5 days, keeping a journal, talking to friends about it, repeating to myself over and over again "it is over. he is with her now". I've been meditating, visualizing the hurt, the bond I felt and watching myself cut that tie. I believe it is starting to work.

The unpleasant side affect here is that I can see how I contributed to the breakup in a more objective light. It is so much easier to blame it all on them. But now I can see my part in it and it doesn't feel great. He was wrong to handle things the way he did, and he also has some fault here. I need to be careful that I don't slide and accept all the blame for everything, I have done that wih him for years. I'd apologize and accept responsibilty even if I knew I wasn't wrong, it was just easier. Can't let myself do that here.

Still, this moment of clarity has greatly relieved my heavy heart. I'm still sad, but today, for this moment in time, I'm not angry, I don't hate him and my heart is a little lighter. In fact, I almost feel sorry for him.

Nicest thing we can do for each other is to let each other go, without thinking that either will be there later waiting. Free and clear. Neither of us has done that before. This time we have to. In the end it may be the best thing we've ever done for each other.
If only he would share the same moment of zen, then he could move on and break the old patterns he has set. I can't be responsible for that. I can only let him go and wish him well on his way. Much more peaceful that, as opposed to wishing he would be hit by a big, sharp,pointy object.

Don't know how long this will last, tomorrow I could hate him again, or want him back, or any of the other stages of grieving. For now I will enjoy this moment of calm.

This moment of clairty has been brought to you today by our friends at
IVillage, Where breaking up isn't quite as hard to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 8:56pm

Hi asutherngrl,


Thanks for sharing and I hope each day continues to get better.




iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2006
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 12:12am

Hi Sutherngrl,

I am happy you are getting better, I have been following your story from the begininng, and this post is very optomistic for the brokenhearted on day one! Been there too, and amazingly, It does get easier!

Keep us posted,
and congrats!!

Louise