Food for thought..they were all wrong so
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| Fri, 10-21-2005 - 7:14pm |
Why do we feel so bad still? I wanted to end my 3.5 year LD/May Dec. relationship many times. We actually split a few times and came back together again and again. I loved him and vice versa. We were entirely faithful...Now it's over and whilst I know it's the best, I am still sad. I still obsess on what he is doing..and obssess that he rebounded SO fast, like the same weekend we split. I also feel bad for her because he still wants me and says "I am number 1" Well, I decided I was NOT number 1 and told him I will call him before Xmas but until then want a long NC break. It's not been too long but each hour is more and more freeing..
So if we KNOW it was all wrong, why does it still ACHE??
Waiting for the pain to lift and joy to return...I know once I do I will be stronger..

Any number of reasons, some of which may apply to you, some of which may not...
--because we're human and we get attached to people who we know are wrong for us despite ourselves...
--because we don't like being alone...
--because we don't know if the future holds anything better for us than our exes...
--because we're not happy with our lives otherwise and look to romantic relationships to complete and fulfill us, so when one ends, even a bad one, we are unhappy...
Sheri
My situation is similar to yours. We were engaged and together for 3 years. We have been broken up for almost three months. We also have broken up several times and gotten back together. In fact we lived together and last Christmas we broke up. I gave back the ring and bought my own place. I thought it was for good but I didn't want it to be so I talked and talked to him and we got back together. Since then it was back and forth. Then July 27th we broke up. Part of me didn't think it was for good because we had done this before but this is the longest we have ever gone. I have called and emailed almost every week since. He said he just can't go back. I heard that he is seeing someone and I too found it very hard to believe that he could find someone so quickly. He often told me that if we ever broke up he was done trying that he was going to just be single and do his own thing and that he would never try that hard again. I don't think I am fully out of his heart or mind so I feel sorry for her as well. Part of the reason why I can't heal is because I can't get it through my head that it is over, not even after hearing he might be seeing someone. It is crazy! It is friday night and I am sitting at home on a breakup website feeling sorry for myself. Part of me is proud that I have allowed myself to be alone, I have turned down several people and I have decided I will remain alone for a while. In all honesty, I don't think I have ever gone this long without someone in my life.
I wish I could answer your question but unfortunately I am in the same situation as you. Everyone tells me that we are wrong for each other but I don't see how we could have fallen as deeply as we did if that were true.
java