Forced to deal with ex

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2004
Forced to deal with ex
3
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 1:20pm

I broke things off with my boyfriend in January. It was very hard to do because I really loved him but things were not going well and he was busy with his research. We said that we might get back together later. We had a trip planned over spring break and I was planning on talking to him about getting back together since things were going really well.

Last week he tells me that he is dating someone else now and it broke my heart. He still wanted to go on the trip. I coudn't understand why he would want to spend a week alone with me when he is dating this other girl. I told him there was no way his new girl would be ok with it and I wasn't either so I canceled the plans.

He knew I still had feelings for him. He has since told me that he is still in love with me and that he thought we might have ended up getting married one day. She is leaving in April and they have no intention of making it long distance. I guess he told me that thinking it would make me feel better but I was actually more insulted that he would throw away what we had for a temporary relatinship. Am I the only one who doesn't understand how he could do this to someone he feels so strongly about.

I have told him how I feel and why I am so upset with him. I also told I really didn't want anything to do with him.

I am one of those people who doesn't believe in being friends with exes because the pain of seeing them with someone else isn't worth it. So I have deleted his number from my phone and scanned in the last few chapters of the book we were sharing so I wouldn't have to see him.

The problem is we have a class together. It is a two and a half hour class and we had been sitting together. The class is really small he didn't go to class last week which I knew was going to happen prior to the announcement. Part of me feels like I should find a new place to sit in class but the other part of me likes where I am and doesn't want to move. I know he won't move because he wants to be friends and doesn't want me to stop talking to him.

I know sounds stupid but I don't see why I should have to move when it was his fault. I guess I probably will have to.

Does anybody have any tips for dealing with this situation.

Thanks for listening (reading) :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 6:23pm

Hi webgrl and welcome to the board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2004
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 8:12pm

I went ice skating with a grad school group this afternoon. I knew there was a good chance I would see him but this was something I wanted to do and had planned to do prior to him telling me about her so I wasn't going to let him keep me away from it.

His roommate and best friend were there but he didn't show up. I was very happy about that.

I talked to his roommate for a few minutes. His best friend came up to me while I was ice skating. We talked and skated together for a bit. He agreed that what he did sucked to use his word which was kind of nice to hear. We talked a few times while we were there and that was sort of nice. It helps me to know that he isn't telling his friends what an awful bitch I am because he has no reason to do so.

I was really friendly and nice to both of those guys because I did hang out with them a lot when we were together. A part of me hopes that one of them goes back to him and tells him what an idiot he was to do that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 10:30am
Wow, I know exactly what you're talking about when you said you hope one of your exes friends goes and tells him he was such a dummy. I told a guy friend that my ex and I have in common about everything that's gone on, and I know he was on my "side." (lol, I think his words were that ex was an immature idiot if he couldn't see how awesome I was. I saved that text because it made me feel good that even if my ex doesn't see the value in me, someone eventually will.) But I also am pretty sure he also hasn't said anything on my behalf either. So who knows, they might say something, but I don't think most guys are built that way, or really talk about us as much as we talk about them. And would it really change anything anyway? Probably not.