Forgiving Myself

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2005
Forgiving Myself
5
Thu, 10-04-2007 - 6:35am

The hardest part for me right now is forgiving myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 10-04-2007 - 1:14pm

Hi worriedwoman2005,


Turn that G for GUILT to a G for GRATITUDE

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2007
Thu, 10-04-2007 - 1:20pm

Hello worriedwoman.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2005
Thu, 10-04-2007 - 2:25pm

Hi worriedwoman,


I've been a worried woman too for the past several weeks. My boyfriend and I got into a fight (I was the one doing the yelling and hanging up, though) and I was so mortified by my behavior that three days later I sent an e-mail apologizing and wishing him well in his new job. It took him two and a half weeks to respond. During that period I had time to think, and although I was gratified to get his message, I decided right away not to respond and have not done so for two weeks now. The fight was about him not including me in his life in a meaningful way, and the two week lag just exemplified that for me in the worst way. So although there have been many times I've wanted to talk to him and wanted to get the relationship going again, something has held me back, and I think that something is good sense. It hurts, I miss him, I think I still love him, but if he can't step up to the plate then better to get the yuckiness over now and move on, I hope, to the good stuff. So hang in there. For what it's worth, I think you're doing the right thing too.


Pix

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Fri, 10-05-2007 - 1:37am

It's a pity there's a clear difference between what we expect we deserve and what actually happens. Don't focus too much on what you think he owes you.

And on the other hand, I can't say for sure, since I don't know the dynamics of your relationship, but people deal with conflict very differently. For example, I love resolving things on the spot clearing the air ASAP. My sister on the the other hand, she'll retreat into her room and just ignore you for a few days. But she when she emerges from her 'cave', it's like nothing happened. Anyways the point is, I've learned not to push her into dealing with conflict the way I do.

Just something for the future.

cheers

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2005
Fri, 10-05-2007 - 8:50am

I suspect that he deals w/conflict like your sister.