Freaking Out!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Freaking Out!
16
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 10:23am

Ok, so I tried to restrain myself and not post right now, but I feel like if I don't I'm going to explode.

Last Wednesday my ex came and saw me and we agreed to be friends and start hanging out occasionally. I asked him before he left when I could expect to hear from him and he said about a week. Well it has now been 9 days. Yeah I know only 2 days past a week and he said about a week and he's a guy.

but I'm freaking out. I tried to call him last night because I wanted to tell him that this Saturday at the races (he said he was going to come one time) is $1.00 bud night, which I know he would enjoy, but he didn't answer his phone. I was okay that's fine he's probably busy with something, in the shower, or his phone is charging. Well about 20 minutes ago I decided to call him again, because I know he'd be at work now and should answer. Well, nope no answer. I didn't want to leave a voicemail because he rarely listens to them anyway.

I'm just really scared that maybe he's changed his mind or something. He told me last week that his phone was about to break on him because he went swimming with it in his pants.

I really don't think he would do this to me, but I'm still scared all the same.

Maybe his phone just broke and he hasn't had a chance to get a new one? I don't know. I'm just freaking out.

I know everyone is probably going to answer that he's a jerk and is just avoiding me, but in my gut I really don't believe that's what he's doing. I'm really scared that something has happened to him.

Please help.

~Amber~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2006
In reply to: manno001
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 10:28am
how long have you two been 'broken up'? I don't think its a good idea to try a friendship with an ex if you still have romantic feelings for him, which it sounds like you do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
In reply to: manno001
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 10:35am

We've been broken up 3 months. But when we decided last week to be friends, it was more of an understanding that we would work on our own issues, start hanging out, and see what happens.

I'm going into this really cautiously. I'm just freaking out right now and I don't know why.

Yeah, I still have feelings for him and he still has feelings for me too. He told me last week he did.

~Amber~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2006
In reply to: manno001
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 10:44am

I have to be honest. While you guys talked about being friends and handing out, it sounds like you still want much more than that and I'm afraid if you keep trying to get close to him, your going to keep opening yourself up to be hurt. It also won't let you move on.

Also, I think you can't expect as much from your friends as you do from your partner. What I mean is, if my boyfriend said he would call on a certain day and didn't I'd be really mad. If a girlfriend did the same thing, I might be a little put out, but it wouldn't feel the same.

Having said that, if your really worried and think his cell might be broken, why not try his "real" work number or send an e-mail.

Hugs
Kathy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
In reply to: manno001
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 10:52am

I really am worried and I know that we are just friends and he really has no obligation to call me on the day he said he would. He didn't even say in a week, he said about a week. I can't call his work number because he works construction and I can't e-mail him because he doesn't have an e-mail. He doesn't even have a computer.

Last resort for me if I don't hear from him today is to go over to his place after work and make sure he's okay. That's all I can do. And if I find out he has been avoiding me, well then okay. I'm done for good. But in all honesty, I don't really think that's whats happening. I guess you could say I'm being a worrywort right now.

It is hard for both of us to be "just friends" but we agreed that we want to at least try it.

I also thought maybe he's off work today and is at home sleeping. I don't know I'm just trying to stay busy and stop worrying, breath Amber, Breath...

~Amber~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2006
In reply to: manno001
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 10:57am

Amber, you know him better than any us do. So I say do whatever is going to put your mind at rest.

Kathy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
In reply to: manno001
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 11:22am

I'm doing better now. I guess I just needed to get that all out. If he doesn't call me today then I'm going to go over to his place just to make sure he's okay. I really don't believe he would not answer my phone calls like that. So either his phone is broken, he left it home, he's not at work today and is sleeping, He's too busy at work right now and can't answer, or something happened to him. I'm probably worrying about nothing.

thanks for replying to me, it really did help.

~Amber~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
In reply to: manno001
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 11:42am

Amber,
It sounds like he is putting you through the ringer and will call you when it is convenient for him. I hate to hear that you are on the break of chasing him. I really think you two need to break total contact from each other until BOTH of you know that you want to get into a more serious relationship with each other. Please don't make excuses for him in regards to not calling you. If the dude had any feelings for you, he would have called when he said he would. I personally could not be "just friends" with my ex because I still have very deep feelings for him even though we have not had contact with each other for 6 weeks. If you feel you can handle being "just friends" with him right now, please do so but for most people, it just doesn't work if there are deeper feeling involved.

I really think that you need to give this "friends" thing a second look and see if it is worth your sanity.

Good Luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
In reply to: manno001
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 12:09pm

I'm doing much better and actually I just got off the phone with him. He finally called me because his phone got ran over. And couldn't call me before. His truck's transmission also went out so he couldn't come see me. So all is fine. We are maybe going to go to the races tomorrow night, he said he would get back with me.

~Amber~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2006
In reply to: manno001
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 1:18pm
Excuses for not calling....first his phone got wet, now its because it got 'ran over'?
Please be careful....I'm sorry but I am seeing red flags galore with this guy, just from what you have said here. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
In reply to: manno001
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 1:23pm
His excuses sound like BS to me. He may be trying not to hurt your feelings. Being in love with someone can make a person gullible. Watch out! Wouldn't he try to be more cautious with his phone after the "swimming" excuse? Did he run over his phone with his tranmissionless truck? BS.

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