Fresh breakup
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| Mon, 11-05-2007 - 9:17am |
My 2 year relationship ended on Friday and I just need a place to vent. We were long distance for the past 3 months as we went to different grad schools after college and we only saw each other 3 times in that period. Before we were long distance we were an amazingly happy couple. We spent the summers together, went on a 3 week road trip, lived together last summer, etc. And then we had to separate and things got harder and harder as the weeks went by. I became incredibly uncomfortable with a girl that was aggressively pursuing him despite our relationship and though he always refused her advances and never did anything shady I became more and more insecure and suspicious about their friendship. To make a long story short I went to see him this weekend, we got in huge fight on Thursday but patched it up Friday morning then got in an even bigger fight Friday night and it was over. I couldn't leave until Sunday afternoon so I spent the next day and a half sobbing in his room over everything I thought I should have done better, over what I felt I had lost.
It was incredibly hard because he was there with me, just as sad as me, and even held me and stroked my hair when I was crying. He said he loved me and would miss me so much but we just couldn't make each other happy anymore. And I know he is right, and I'm glad it happened in person rather than over the phone, and also that since we left on amazingly good terms we can be friends one day, and it even seemed like he was considering getting back together after some serious time apart. I know I shouldn't hope that we get back together because it'll only make the healing process longer and if we don't I'll have to go through this all over again, but it's hard for me to move on when I know we still love each other and want to be together so much and can't.
When I left yesterday he hugged me tight and kissed me and told me he loved me over and over again and he looked like he was going to cry and I did the same and it's just really hard for me to understand why two people who love each other so much can't be together. It's also frustrating cause he's in a part of his program now where he has much more time and we could be seeing each other twice a month instead of once. I think that seeing each other more would really help and I'm angry that we broke up right before we could see if more visits would change things.
I've never dealt with a breakup like this before. I've been in relationships but theyve all ended in ways that didn't upset me. Either the spark was gone, it wasn't that serious, or the other person cheated and I was glad to get out. This time I was and still am deeply in love with him, and I know he feels the same way. And nobody cheated or truly hurt the other, we just both couldn't handle the distance. I was too insecure and he couldn't balance a serious relationship and school, neither of those things make us hate each other or resentful so it's hard to leave a relationship where I know I'm usually happy and where he is to. Sorry to make such a long post I'm just so overwhelmed at losing my best friend and the man I thought I would marry. We weren't engaged or anything but we talked about it, even looked at rings before, we just were waiting for the distance to close. I couldnt stop crying on Saturday and Sunday and now I just feel numb. I have a very tough academic schedule and I don't know how to focus on it when I'm so sad and can't stop thinking that my relationship is over. Any advice, links, book reviews, whatever will be sooo helpful. Thanks for reading this long!

Hi Samari, im sorry about your pain and i pray that it will ease in time, but the decision yall made was a very mature one and you both should be secure in that.
Hugs,
Dbest
Welcome to the board samari2,
Break ups are so hard, sorry for your pain.