friend obsessed with ex
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friend obsessed with ex
| Mon, 04-18-2005 - 7:36pm |
I have been best friend with a girl for about 3 years (I am 28.) We work toether, and we used to talk to each other on the phone and do stuff but now we do nothing. She has become really good friends with my ex-boyfriend and every single day at work she talks about him. I have told her repeately that I don't want to hear about him and she just tells me I am being too sensitive. She has made jokes about sleeping with him and giving him blow jobs (I know this is untrue) but still I think an unappriate joke.) She also told me he was looking for a renter to move in with him and asked her to move in with him. At the begining I've always said I don't care who she's friends with because she was the one who introduced me to him but I don't understand why she is obsessed with talking about him. I don't know what to do. I've told her hundreds of times not to bring his name up and she still does it. My friend is 25 and has never been on a date herself, she also doesn't like to be touched and doesn't want to have sex until she loses weight. I know she has low self esteem but I don't understand why she is hurting me in this way. I haven't dated anyone since me and my ex broke up over a year ago (Not by choice no one has asked) but I'm still having a hard time getting over him when all she does is talk about him. Also I have to be around her since we work together. What are your thoughts on why she is doing this?

Sweetie, she is not being a friend to you at all! What kind of person repeatedly says things that are so insensitive esp to a friend? There is that uncrossed line too that girlfriends are not suppose to mess with our ex's. I think you are being sympathetic maybe to her, in that she's never had a date?? and has actually been getting attention from a guy finally. But come on. If she is any friend at all, she would know that you are still healing and possibly still hurting from the breakup. I know all my friends are WELL AWARE of how tender I still am about my ex. They don't say his name, or mention anything that I could link to him because they know. AND THEY CARE ABOUT ME not to. I'm sorry but you have a very selfish friend and she is hendering you from moving on.
I'm afraid you'd have better friendships here on these boards than you'll get out of her, unless she can put herself in your shoes and try alittle caring. sorry, hugs to you
It sounds like she's jealous or envious of you.
Like the old saying goes, "Misery loves company." You've already told her many times that you want her to stop talking about your ex, but she won't listen. You can't control her or make her stop bringing him up. However, you can choose to end the conversation by walking away or hanging up the phone. Do this enough times and I guarantee you she'll get the message loud and clear.
The wild card or the unknown at this point is how she'll respond. If she's accepts and finally backs off, great. If she doesn't and instead chooses to accuse you of being too sensitive, then perhaps you should re-evaluate whether the friendship is worth continuing.
Not all friendships are meant to last a lifetime.