friends?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2005
friends?
2
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 11:30pm

so, the age old questions? can men and women be friends after a relationship?

i can't believe i am still struggling with the idea...for some reason, even through other healthy relationships there is still one ex that i want to be friends with. maybe it is because subconsciously i hope for something more...but i don't think so necessarily. he wants to be friends too!...so he says...but this is how he discusses it:

the relationship ended last fall when i moved out of the state, we've maintained some contact over the time apart. i don't understand why all the jabs at our relationship that to me seemed nothing but good, except that i was leaving. my friend thinks he was speaking out of anger/hurt, that he feels like it's my fault or that he just feels bad for me that the relationship between us ended and he needs to justify to me why he had to move on.

i'm confused...i still don't know really how to react. he definitely hurt my feelings on the surface, but i don't think he really feels that way. i don't understand why this guy would go out of his way to try and have a friendship with me when he claims "i never felt close to you..."??? anyone? do guys keep relationships with exes? i kinda thought it would fade away cause it's just a girl fantasy to stay friends.

just ranting a bit.
thanks-
bb

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: boston80
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 12:54am

I'm having the same struggle with my ex, although our breakup is much more recent. My ex said very hurtful things to me when he broke it off, yet has called quite frequently trying to maintain the relationship. Its hard to believe he wants to be friends when I can't even see what he even likes about me anymore since he's picked apart everything about who I am. My only justification is that its easier for them to push us away so they don't have to look at what THEY did within the relationship or how they treated us.

Hope you find some clarity

-adc

-almostdoesntcount

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
In reply to: boston80
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 12:40pm

NO FRIENDSSSSSSSSS - NO FRIENDS - NO FRIENDS -

YOU NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM HIM TO GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE TO HEAL YOUR HEART -