friends after breaking up?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2007
friends after breaking up?
3
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 6:56pm
okay so me and my ex have been broken up for a little over a month. i went on my spring break and was doing great. i came back from spring break and ended up staying home for the next week instead of going back to school. we spent every day and nite together. we slept together every nite and it was great. none of us spoke of getting back together. now its time for me to go back home. i saw him last yesterday we didnt speak of anything about us we just kind of said bye and that was that. i guess we're just supposed to be friends now... can a friendship work out? a part of me just wants to get back with him so bad but the other part knows that i wasnt happy. i just dont want to get hurt if i find out hes met someone else.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2004
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 10:19pm

I think this is your answer "i just dont want to get hurt if i find out hes met someone else."

If you stick around you will know when he starts dating someone else. I stuck around wanting to get back together and got burned when he started seeing someone else. If you put some distance between you and him hopefully you won't know.

Walk away for now and when you feel you can deal with him seeing someone else and being just friends with him then you can be friends.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2007
Wed, 03-28-2007 - 2:25pm

Hi Hoplessromantic. I'm one myself lol. I agree with webgirl, if you stick around him, you'll eventually witness him in the arms of another girl. It's going to hurt. You're in enough pain, don't set yourself up for more. You guys are broken up, therefore both of you are free to see other people. Don't hang around in hopes that your "friendship" with him will bring you guys together. You don't close yourself off to better guys waiting for him, then find out he already moved on and found someone else.

Being friends with an ex isn't a good idea. It slows the post breakup process. It might even be more painful when you realize the other person is getting over you faster than you thought and see them with someone else, while you are still hurting. If you want to be friends with an ex, that's fine. However, you should wait until both of you have officially moved on And by moved on, I mean you guys don't constantly think about one another, don't have urges to get back together, and able to open your hearts to someone else, and probably seeing other people by then.

It's hard to break away from someone you want to be with so bad. Someone you grown so comfortable and intimate with. Remind yourself why you broke up. When you feel like contacting him, contact other people instead, write about it instead, don't contact him no matter how much you miss him. Let him know not to contact you and explain why, if he does don't respond. You'll be giving each other false hope. There is a reason why you guys broke up. Unless you know for sure you guys can work through the problems in the relationship and you're willing to risk getting hurt again, I don't recommend keeping in touch with him.

If there was something you didn't like about him or he didn't like about you, then that just means you're not right for one another. If there is no trust in the relationship, it won't work either. Sometimes it's not anyone's fault, it's just that you're not right for one another. You shouldn't force yourself or your partner to be in a relationship, it'll only result in alot of pain and stress. You wouldn't eat something that doesn't agree with your body or that's harmful to you, especially when there are so many other food out there for you. It's not that the food isn't good, it's just not for you.

Try not to linger on this one guy and try your best to move on so you can make yourself available to guys better suited for you. Don't think that you won't find anyone. I find that this is one of the biggest reasons people are afraid to leave unhealthy relationships they know they shouldn't be in. They don't want to be single again because it gets lonely at times, and they're afraid they won't find anyone or will take a long time before they do find someone. Learn to be happy single, yes it can get lonely especially during holidays but wouldn't you rather be single and happy than with someone who stresses you out and makes you feel less the goddess you are? You deserve the best. Life is short, don't waste your time with people who can't bring you the happiness you deserve.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Wed, 03-28-2007 - 2:51pm
Who broke up with who, or what was behind the breakup? Its hard to comment without a little more information as to whether you should move on or ask for another chance....