Friends are excluding me...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2006
Friends are excluding me...
5
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 7:59pm
Pretty sad today. My friends are excluding me from their group. I can feel it, and it hurts almost as badly as us breaking up. They all hang out at the same summer haven as him, and honestly with me not there life for all is easier. I cannot go over his house, where my friend lives, I am banned. She wants to know where we are going each night so she can tell him so we don't run into each other. I did not do anything!! He is the one who hurt me! This weekend it is obvious they would rather me not show up, they all have dates. So not only am I lonely and still crying a lot, and depressed but now I will be left home alone this weekend too. I feel like divorcing them so to speak. I just cannot believe friends would do this. They say oh we are going to have a great summer, but how can we? He is there, my friend stays with him in the share, it eats me alive knowing she is sitting there in that house. I keep asking what he is up to, which I know is wrong.
Just makes me feel worse. Maybe I should just stay away from them, him, all of it. I hate beling alone, and left out. But I don't see much choice. They all hang out together there and it is easier without me. I feel like just turning off my phone and not picking it up, not talking to anyone. I got the hint.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 8:16pm

hi ohmigosh

are you sure your friend dont like your exbf?
i'm just curious...

so what if they dont include you...well this is one step to forget about your exbf..i remember long time ago when i break up with my first love...i'm just like you we have same friend. so its hard i cannot go out with them coz his there. so what i did i stop contacting them...whats hurt me more is that i find out that all of my friends are being friend with my exbf new GF. imagine that!!!

so dont feel left alone....make yourself busy and if you could...try to find other friend to go out with.

good luck dear

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 8:17pm

I think your best bet is to focus on other friendships this summer, especially since you are continuing to ask about him and what he's doing. It's just not good for you to have that indirect contact.

By next summer, things will probably be back to normal...so don't think of it as giving up this group of friends forever, just for now.

Sheri

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 8:42pm
Hey, that sucks! They are not great friends. You can do better. I would like to think that friends could behave better than that. Last year one of my acquaintance/friend said some pretty nasty things about me and I confronted her. She was horrible, only to find out that my dear, wonderful best friend was hanging out with her! I felt abandoned. So, I joined a dance class and a yoga class and started to make a "reserve set" of friends. I found out that you never have a lot of great friends only one or two and usually not at the same time. I figured out the it was better, for me anyway, to have a couple sets of friends as back-up just in case. Well that is probably going to make some people pretty mad, but it works for me. I am sorry that people are so damn mean! Be the friend that you want to have and take yourself to a funny movie.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2006
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 9:42pm
Thanks... I am in the process of finding back up friends and I guess a back up date too now. It is really unbelievable. They have avoided asking what I am doing this weekend completely, knowing perfectly well, I have no plans and am alone. It is like dating my ex again. So sad, you would at least expect someone to be there for you. Last summer one of these friends cried every weekend, and I did not make fun of her, be mean to her, critize her, no I just gave her my shoulder to cry on and tried to make the best out of her bad situation by taking her out and trying to help her have fun. I was the one last weekend rescuing her once again at 4am when she calls me crying to come pick her up, and I am the one who drives the other one home every weekend, while she eats breakfast with my ex each week. I am done. Just feel so empty. It is like when someone dies you always remember who was there for you, well this is a loss too, but he is still here, and I still get to face him, and I have noone here for me. I just really cannot believe they would let me sit home. And what is worse is that they keep rubbing the fact they have dates tonight, tomorrow and all weekend in my face. I would give anything for a real date right now, to just forget about him for a moment would be worth it. Disgusted. You are right I need a funny movie....
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 8:33pm
I think it is hard to date someone new right after a break-up. Especially if you really love that person. It just doesn't feel right. There is a empty, sick feeling about the whole thing. And, if that isn't enough, to have your "friends" take no notice of your saddness. Ouch!!! Maybe, you better get 3 or 4 movies... just not romantic comedies! I have accidently done that, not a good idea they always end up too good and make you sadder. Well, I am here if you want to chat. I know the pain both the ex and the friends part... the double whammie is excrutiating though. Keep posting. M