friends engaged,married,broken up...sad
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| Sun, 02-18-2007 - 11:58am |
so i feel like everyone i know is breaking up or getting engaged. i turned 27 this friday. and it's been about a week and a half since the breakup. exactly a week since i've talked to him. the night of my bday i got a pix text from a friend of a ring and her finger and the words i'm engaged! i was really happy for her. but the next morning i was talking to friend who used to be a part of my original group of friends here who told me that he too was running a half marathon (counting me and another friend who had a relationship end it was just starting to be weird that we were all running the same half marathon at the end of april).
he had been with his gf for almost 5 years and last i saw him over turkey day weekend he was going to move up to norcal after finishing up his ph.d this may.
well then i called my newly engaged friend to wish her the best and to see how it happened. and if it was with the same guy that she had broken up with before. it was. the started dating in the beginning of their ph.d program about two and a half years ago. they broke up 6 months later. stayed friends and even roommates and 6 months later after being friends again started dating again for almost a year. i was really happy for her and sadly i'm wondering if it is bad that it gives a bit of hope to my current breakup.
he broke up with me. he just couldn't juggle work and school (tax accountant and law school) and had to support himself and felt like he was going to fail school and doing poorly at work. he just said he was torn at all sides and didn't know waht to do anymore but just focus on these things only now. he broke up with me and then kept saying please let me know when you're ready for me to contact you again, to call you again and maybe we can get to a point where we can talk regularly again. he would get especially upset when i would talk about how i wasn't mad at him but just sad about the situation and the timing and i would cry and then i woudl talk about how i had to grieve that i lost someone impt in my life. but it is just weird that he still is willing to respect the time i need and hopes that maybe it may work out later. even asking me how my last ex that broke up with me messed things up so that i never gave him another chance again when he realized later he had made a big mistake (he too was going through some work life crisis when we broke up and about 6 months later he realized he made a big mistake cutting me out of his life).
so i guess the point is, i hope to get through the sadness and emptiness feelings so that maybe i will be ok to talk to him sometimes. but i guess is it bad that talking to my engaged friend's story of the history of her relationship gives me a little bit of hope that he can be in life again as a friend and maybe it may work out but maybe it won't?
for now i just want to keep on trucking fixing myself and moving on and not talking to him for now...i guess i'm confused again...and again i woke up this morning with him in my dreams and us having fun and then feeling lonely and confused waking up...

Happy belated birthday!