Friends not possible
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| Sat, 12-16-2006 - 2:56pm |
I didn't want to believe it... That it's almost impossible to be friends after a breakup no matter how amicable the breakup. Our break up a few months ago was not a huge surprise and partially a relief. I miss the relationship but I know why he and I are incompatible. We distanced ourselves after the breakup to transition into being friends, but these past six months of "being friends", I have been on an emotional rollercoater ride. I made realizations about him and us that has makes me think friendship is not possible. For a long time I felt lucky to have him in my life so I was happy about being friends. BIG MISTAKE. Things about our relationship, his feelings for me and major jealousy about his new gf has ruined our efforts at being friends. I thought three weeks of no contact after the breakup was long enough in our transition to being friends. But seeing as spending time with him again has made me grow an attachment to him again, I realize this will not work. I keep feeling hurt and let down over and over. I have started no contact again and it kills me that I have to do it. I am losing a good friend... I don't know if I can do it. He wants to be friends so much and was upset when I asked him to give me space. Also, I don't like him thinking that I can't get "over him". I don't like feeling this way either.. He was my first bf so maybe I'm still getting over the relationship more so...
Any advice?

I totally understand what you said. FRIENDSHIP IS IMPOSSIBLE RIGHT AFTER BREAKUP!!!
I have experienced the same thing. The guy wanted us to remain friends, since we both knew we had to depart sooner or later. He didn't want a relationship, but I did. I tried so many times this year to be friends with him and did some friendly stuff, but I cried everytime I came home or he left. The emotional rollercoaster ride is killing me.
Since he didn't want a relationship, there was no new gf I worried about. I just couldn't imagine that!
I konw how hard NC is like, but I think that's the only way to get rid of your feelings for him. I have tried 2 weeks NC before. At first I cried every morning, but I went out shopping with my friends everyday. I started to feel better, but then 2nd week, I felt worse. There will be a lot ups and downs. But you have to do it!!!
Believe yourself and you can do it!!!Just be strong and keep all your dignity!!
recomend a good movie to watch"the holiday", hope you will enjoy!
Good luck!!!!
Thanks, I will watch that sometime this holiday season!
You're lucky you don't have to worry about another girl. My ex is seeing someone else and knowing he's probably with her right now hurts me SO much. I feel really lonely without him, and it's hard to go out and just have fun when there's school and so many other things to worry about.
Goodluck to you too! Keep up the NC! We'll get through this..
I just cried to death, because finally it's done. He's gonna move to another state coming Tuesday, and we have no chance to meet up to say goodbye before that. I have said all my words and nothing left. I can really start the NC now!
Again, i just want to say "firends? not possible"!!! What are friends like? They are the ones you could always share your feelings with,you could go shopping with, you could talk about relationship stories with... Can those guys do it with us? NO! then why would we still want to be friends with thme? becasue we still love them! But! they won't get us any better or give us anything good!! Only the tears!!
I just want to say "I loved him before, but won't love him anymore. He was only in my past, but he's out of my future!Who he will date and who he is being friends with are none of my business. and i don't care! To me, he is dead!!!"
hey, girl! we both have to be strong! and You're right! We'll get through this!!!
We have other friends around and we will have a better guy who is worth our love!!!
Edited 12/17/2006 10:50 am ET by echohhh
I tell people this all the time.
Susan
"Success is building a foundation wit