Is friends possible, or rediculous?
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 09-01-2007 - 12:09pm |
I've been broken up with my ex of 5yrs (lived together for 3 of it) for about 9months now. We hadn't talked in 5mos and then saw each other a few weeks ago. He said he wanted to get back together. But then the emails and calls I got from him after showed no further effort for this.
Then, we saw each other last weekend and he tells me that he has a roommate now who is a girl he dated after we broke up. He assures me that it's platonic between them, and that he only did it bcs he had to get out of his other living situation quickly, but for some reason I felt very betrayed when he told me. I guess I thought we were both living on our own dealing with this. It also bothers me that I barely talk to him and this girl gets to spend time with him every day. And he tells me that this girl is "jealous" of me bcs he talks about me or something, which makes me wonder if she wants more from him or something.
Also, when we saw each other last week, he indicated that there might be something else he did while we weren't together that I might not like. But once I inquired further, he said that maybe we should just try to be friends since friends dont' care about that type of stuff. I've done some things he probably wouldn't like too, but nothing I'm ashamed of.
So now I'm torn. I dunno if I should try to be friends with him. We have a long history together, so I don't want him out of my life, but it's like he doesn't seem very sure of what he wants and it hurts me when he tells me stuff like the roommate thing, and I'm not sure how much more of that I can handle.
I want to be with him again, so I'm not suer if "friends" is just a way of allowing him to not make up his mind bcs part of the reason we broke up was bcs he was afraid of commitment. And I've told him that I want someone who is sure about me and would be willing to make a commitment. I'm in no rush to get married, but I'd like to feel that the person I'm with that long feels like there's a future for us.
HELP!

Hi kit_grrlll,
-- but for some reason I felt very betrayed when he told me.
-- I guess I thought we were both living on our own dealing with this. I
-- it also bothers me that I barely talk to him and this girl gets to spend time with him every day.
-- And he tells me that this girl is "jealous" of me bcs he talks about me or something, which makes me wonder if she wants more from him or something.
All those things tell me that you aren't ready to be 'just friends' with him. You've not finished healing completely and still have some grief to deal with, JMO.