Is friendship possible?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004
Is friendship possible?
2
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 11:49am
I'm sure many of you out there are facing the same situation - is friendship possible after a break up?

The guy I was dating for 2 months decided to go back to his ex fiance to try and work things out. It wasn't a bad break up in the sense that there was no negative reason for us not to be together. He, for some reason, one day realized that he wasn't over his ex and wanted to see if things could work out between them. They had been apart for 4 months when he and I started talking and spending time together.

The problem now is that he and I run into each other quite a bit because we work in the same building. Everytime I see him, I feel my insides just sink. I really liked this guy .. probably more so than I should have because of the fact that he was once engaged. But hey, love is a gamble and if one doesn't take the risk, we would never have the opportunity to love or be loved by someone, right?

Anyway, we both agree that it's a little awkward to be bumping into each other and hope that someday, somehow we'll be able to have a friendship. But in the meantime, we hope to be able to keep in touch. Is that a wise move at all? I know I should go NC for a while ... the feelings are still fresh. I don't know what to do!

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 12:55pm
If the feelings are still fresh, do yourself a favor and avoid him for at least a month or two. That way you'll have time to get over him before you attempt a friendship. Since you weren't seeing him for that long it might still be possible to be friends, but only time will tell. Do take time for yourself and stay away from him completely if possible.

Most everyone else here will tell you the same thing, that trying to remain friends right after a breakup usually doesn't work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 12:53am
Friendship *IS* possible....I've done it so I know. But you have to take things slow....you can't just expect to go from a couple to just friends with a snap of your finger....it just doesn't work that way, as I'm sure you know. I found that no contact until you have both healed really is the best way to go. If my ex and I hadn't taken time apart, we'd have probably never become such good friends. And now I couldn't imagine my life with out him. I wish you the best of luck no matter what you decide to do and we're always here if you need us!!
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