Frustrated but don't want NC
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Frustrated but don't want NC
| Fri, 04-14-2006 - 11:33am |
Well he called again this morning. Normal conversation. I do feel better talking to him then not talking to him but here is the kicker.....
I am painting my spare bedroom. Painting the house was already in the works because I was about to sell my house & move in with him. I figured if I kept going on this project it would keep my mind of him & keep me busy. He has been asking me about how the painting is coming the last few times I talked to him & he asked again this morning. I said it was fine except I was struggling with fixing the one hole in the wall and he said "don't worry about that I will do that part." I ignored his coment and changed the subject to my job search. He was trying to get this one program for my computer to help me format my resume and said he thought it was at his buddy's & was going to check today and see & maybe drop it off this weekend. I said nothing. Then he said - or next week, whatever you want. Well it wouldn't be a simple "drop off" because it is a 45 minute drive minimum one way between us so that is really out of his way. Still I said nothing so he dropped the subject. Was asking me about dropping my resume off places & I told him I had to print new ones off because they all have his address on them (because I was moving there). He got annoyed when I said that and said "so, it dosn't matter, you can still use it."
He still gives me a run down of his day, just like a normal conversation. I wish I knew what was going on in his head but there is nothing left to say about "us" so I don't want to get into it. I miss him - being apart from him is driving me crazy.
I still want contact - I don't feel "closure" with our relationship. It is all so frustrating.
I am painting my spare bedroom. Painting the house was already in the works because I was about to sell my house & move in with him. I figured if I kept going on this project it would keep my mind of him & keep me busy. He has been asking me about how the painting is coming the last few times I talked to him & he asked again this morning. I said it was fine except I was struggling with fixing the one hole in the wall and he said "don't worry about that I will do that part." I ignored his coment and changed the subject to my job search. He was trying to get this one program for my computer to help me format my resume and said he thought it was at his buddy's & was going to check today and see & maybe drop it off this weekend. I said nothing. Then he said - or next week, whatever you want. Well it wouldn't be a simple "drop off" because it is a 45 minute drive minimum one way between us so that is really out of his way. Still I said nothing so he dropped the subject. Was asking me about dropping my resume off places & I told him I had to print new ones off because they all have his address on them (because I was moving there). He got annoyed when I said that and said "so, it dosn't matter, you can still use it."
He still gives me a run down of his day, just like a normal conversation. I wish I knew what was going on in his head but there is nothing left to say about "us" so I don't want to get into it. I miss him - being apart from him is driving me crazy.
I still want contact - I don't feel "closure" with our relationship. It is all so frustrating.

So long as you recognize that you're making the choice and that you will continue to feel frustration given that choice, then that's ok. When you are sick and tired of feeling the frustration, you'll know what you need to do and it will be easier to do it (not "easy", just *easier*).
What is it you want/need to feel closure? It might be a useful exercise for you to define that so you'll "know it when you see it", so to speak.
Sheri
Neither of us have told our family about the split yet, or friends either except for the closest ones on both sides. I think maybe he is in as much denial as I am about this, but closure may be what we both need.
He will be here at some point tomorrow afternoon. Once I see him I will deal with the reality.
Thanks for listening.
Good luck, let us know how it goes.
Sheri