GAH! Does "No Contact" get easier?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
GAH! Does "No Contact" get easier?
12
Wed, 02-02-2005 - 7:28pm

Thanks so those who replied to my previous post. I'm taking the wise words to heart...but here's the thing; I am going out of my mind!!! When, oh when, does "no contact" get easier?? I haven't talked to the ex since Sunday and I'm crawling up the walls to get in touch with him...it's only been 3 days, I know, but I'm an impatient type who has never done this before and have no idea what to expect. I certainly didn't expect it to be this hard (yes, I have a big enough ego to think that I was a strong enough woman to just suck it up and deal).

I'm setting day-by-day goals for myself, and am doing okay with that (though it sucks). I stay busy, I've deleted his number from my cell and blocked his IM. But that burning urge is still there...I have had a hard enough time going three days, let alone a week, a month, two months even? It seems utterly impossible. How have you guys kept with it? Especially when the parting is laden with promises of friendship at some point in the future, provided "enough time and space" between us? Is there an "old adage" about how long it takes to heal? A magic cure that I can find on the black market, perhaps?

This is unbelievably FRUSTRATING. Bah.

Men may be pigs, but damn, I love me some bacon.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2003
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 10:08pm

Thanks for your reply, heidi.

Although I have read through this post, I did get in contact with my ex yesturday and I told him that I still needed some closure to everything until I can move on with my life. We were chatting on IM and he wouldn't pick up the phone because he though the important news I had to talk with him about was about me meeting someone new. That obviously wasn't the case.

So I tried to convince him to meet with me this week to just talk and get closure. He tried to say that even though he wanted to see me, he's not ready to see me and deal with things yet. He said the reason he has been avoiding me the past month is because he does still love me, but doesn't know what to do about things with us right now. He said avoiding me lets him not have to deal with all this. The thing is, this has been lingering for 3 months and I've been feeling sad and torn apart because there was no closure to our relationship. Should I respect his wishes to not see him in person? My gut instinct says to show up at his door, say what I need to say and then move on with life. Doing that would make me feel like I properly had an ending with him instead of being left hanging. What do you think?

Miss_Aloha

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Wed, 02-09-2005 - 9:42am
Write him a letter. Not an email, a letter. And then sit on it for a few days. Re-read it about ten thousand times, read it to a close friend, re-read it again. Make sure it says exactly what you want it to say, without being mean, and then either send it or don't, depending on how you feel (sometimes just writing it helps). Then move on with your life. But don't actually, physically, SEE your ex. He told you that he can't see you right now, respect his wishes.

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