Is getting back together rebound???
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Is getting back together rebound???
| Mon, 11-22-2004 - 2:44pm |
My ex and i have been broken up since June and we have had no verbal communication. Two Frday's ago he called a mutual friend of ours and asked how i was doing. he is still seeing the girl ( he 45/she24) he broke up with me for. Our friend told him I was doing fine and he has been sending me "friendly" text messages ever since. He texts me hello and little things like that and won't call to talk to me at work or home. But has left a hello message on my phone at work when i am not here. What is he up to? Is he testing the waters to see if i am still waiting around for him..... I have told myself that i will not text him back because i feel that i am worth more than that...i think he is afraid to talk to me because he knows i expect an apology for his behavior and an explanation. If this had been four months ago i would have jumped at the chance to be in his life again but now i think that if he truly wants to be in my life he has a H$%%$ of a lot of work to do and knowing him ..he's not man enough to do it!!!! What do you think i should do.

Hi
I think you should not give in. Do what you are doing, ignore him. He is still seeing the girl he broke up with you for and his "friendly" text messages are only a way of testing the waters, like you already suggested. He texts you hello and little things like that BUT...he won't call to talk to you at work or home. He is not calling you, and not seeing you, but he is doing those things with her.
So why should you respond to some guy who only says hello on a text message, and does not seem to be trying hard enough for a guy who broke your heart. You have your answers. He is looking for attention from you, maybe this new girl turned out not to be all that he thought she would be. He is trying to find out if you are still waiting around for him and if you are still on that curb he left you on
Do not contact him, if he wants to contact you, he will, and he will keep doing it until he actually gets you on the phone, instead of talking to a machine or leaving messages when you are away. Men know how to use the phone, he is calling his gf I bet. You deserve better than this. Do not think about his behavior, so far he is not doing anything worthy of even a closer look.
He is afraid to talk to you, because he knows you expect an apology for his behavior and an explanation? LOL, sorry, BS, if he wanted to, he would give you an apology, if he was really sincere about wanting to get back together. Right now, he is thinking only about himself, if he was thinking of you, he would have been sorry he hurt you, and he would not be afraid to at least try to apologize, knowing full well also that you may not take him back, that he would have to earn your trust, to be worthy being with you, not the other way around. He is just fishing around you again, b/c things likely are turning sour with the other girl.
At this point, even if he said he was sorry, this would probably mean he would be sorry that things didn’t work with her, and try to get back with you b/c there would be no one else left for him. Please be careful, if he ever does say he is sorry, because he has to be sincere and be sorry he hurt you, not be sorry that he is alone and things did not work out with the other girl.
He would have to do a lot to earn back your trust, and be allowed back into your life, and as you say, knowing him …he’s not man enough to do it, so do not wait around for him to change his mind about you, do not analyze his petty actions, they mean nothing unless he stops seeing the other girl, and he is honest and agrees to do whatever you require of him to rebuild, if he does come back.
Avoid this guy. You don't necessarily have to stop taking his messages, but read them and just nod your head, they mean nothing. He is not making any promises he will change. Do not let him use you as a shoulder to cry on after he gets booted out of his new relationship. I bet it hurt when he was leaving you for someone else, so do not let him take advantage of whatever feelings you still have for him, to be his friend, only when things go bad in his life, when he needs protection from the world, b/c he can't be man enough to handle rejection by the new girl or gets bored of her, loses his job or whatever else.
You deserve so much better, if he won’t actually sincerely try to win you back, then he is not even worth considering getting back with. Besides, a word of caution, if he left you once for another woman, he may leave you again for yet another woman. Right now, don’t go chasing waterfalls. Take care of you and sail down the river you know how to navigate, called your own life. I hope things work out for you, no matter if he comes around or not and I’m sorry if I was a bit harsh on you.
I just wanted to say that was an amazing response, trinity_firefly_22! You hit it right on the head!
I am sorry to hear about your situation, rosesrred107. I too was in a situation similar to your. Hang in there! Be strong! Remember, the most important person in your life is YOU! So, love and take care of yourself, because you are worthy and you deserve it!