getting out

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2005
getting out
4
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 9:50am
I have been in a roller coaster relationship for about 9 months, 6 of which we have been living together. I have two small children from a previous marriage, so it's not just me that I have to think about. I know this relationship needs to end because I'm not happy. I have told him that I need to move out and I believe it, but he always seems to talk me out of it. Is it wrong to just move out and not tell him until I'm gone? I need help fast.
Avatar for sweetcaroline2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 7:54pm

Hi,

I don't think it is wrong if you feel it is "right" and what you must do to be happy and for your children to be happy.

If that is what you have to do, then do it, leave a note if it is too painful for you to be able to talk to him without talking you out of it.

Don't feel guilty. You have you and your children's best interest to look out for.

Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2003
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 9:11pm
No, I don't think it's wrong. You have to do what is best for you & the kids. Let us know how everything works out. The least painful way is probably the quickest. When I left my ex-husband I would stop by the house on my lunch break to continue packing things while he was not home. I don't know what your options are but maybe a few friends could help you move everything prety quick. Don't worry about not telling him til you're gone. Trust your judgment & don't look back. :-) Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Sat, 01-22-2005 - 7:45pm
I think you should tell him that you're planning on moving out but don't specify a date.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2005
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 12:07pm
Well, I did it. I moved out last Friday. I didn't tell him, but he found out at lunch time when he came looking for me. There was no fighting. I told him that just because I moved out doesn't mean it has to be over. The next day he enrolled himself in his own therapy and is trying to do everything possible to make this work. I want it to work also, so we have started to move back in with him. I have to give him one more chance to show me he will change. Wish me luck!!!