getting through w/o a lot of friends
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| Tue, 10-02-2007 - 7:30pm |
My boyfriend and I broke up nearly two weeks ago.
I still can't believe it. And actually writing it right now has caused me some discomfort because I just can't believe that it is over.
I am not from this area and have lived here for a little over a year and I don't have a lot of friends.
I have one friend—who is acutally like a best friend—and a newer friend.
These are the only two people I can count on right now to hang out with me or to visit when i feel terrible. Which is often. I am still a mess, but functional. Although i was functional from the get-go and I even came to work the next day of the break-up, went to school and just handled it.
I guess I'm just really upset with my friends right now.The one's who don't live close by
People want and expect me to just be OK. it's been 12 days. And they want me to go dancing?? They don't want to talk to me about it?
A good friend who was once a best friend calls me and vents abouther job all day long. and then when i try to talk she's so curt and aloof.
People jus assume that because my ex and I were having troubles that this is easy.
"He wasn't the ONE," friends will say. "be happy and move on."
It really makes me so angry that they dismiss my feelings. that i feel like i can't talk about it.
I'm just so angry and hurt. My ex was my friend, my companion and my family here and now he is gone. And I am just so angry.
Can I get through this without talking about this with myf riends?
they seem to NOT want to talk about this with me. They want to talk as if every thing is A-OK with me, so can I do this on my own???
Any advice would be great. I just feel so alone and angry and hopeless.
Kelly

Oh, Kelly, I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling to find support. A few of my friends and family have reacted like yours, or were otherwise non-helpful. I remind myself that that is about them and their issues around dealing with break-ups or their inability to tolerate seeing me in pain and not be able to fix it or whatever, and stop going to them for that kind of help. Luckily, I have a couple people in my life who are great listeners, and I rely on them right now. Is there anyone in your life who is a good listener who you can spend some time processing with?
I am a firm believer in allowing oneself to grieve and process for as long as our minds and bodies tell us they need to. There is nothing surprising to me or abnormal about what you are feeling. It is always a loss. Even for an individual who wants out of a relationship...there is loss and greiving. You can always write here.
Best to you,
Claudia
I am so grateful for them, but I feel like i need to reach out to others.
I am also trying to handle this on my own.
Last night was my first night in almost two weeks that i let myself be alone with my thoughts.
i had a horrible night and i couldn't sleep. and i just thought about how i ruined the relationship. It was unbelievably painful and I wanted to call him and tell him to come back.
But i just fell asleep.
Another day down.
It is hard without support, but you can always come here.
Yes. i will be posting here and reading while I struggle my way through this.
Thanks for your replies everyone!