Gimme the cold hard truth!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2007
Gimme the cold hard truth!!
2
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 6:50pm

Hello All,

Can someone with experienc please shed a bit of light on this.

Briefly, my girl and I split up a year ago. I worked away a lot and then left my job toi try and resolve the problems. I was devastated and still am, she told me her feelings for me had gone. I took the break up as worse as I could have done, pathetic, clingy, sad etc etc. I left the country to travel and get away and we started to talk a lot on the phone, this was mutual her phoning me and vice versa. It was like us being back together, laughing, joking and talking about old times. I have ALWAYS been clear that I want her back but cant handle the friends only thing and dont want it. Yet she still calls me, so after a couple of months of this I asked her what the situation was and she said she just wanted to be friends. Another kick in the balls. I know she has big comitment issues and has recently got rid of a friend of hers I warned her about (I also believe played a big part in our breakup). I told her on the phone that there are times when I get the impression that she is reconsidering but then pulls away again, she never agreed but she never disagreed either but I believe I know her pretty well after 6 years. I know she has no faith in relationships etc due to her mother and father splitting and doesnt seem to accept that relationships sometimes need work, life isnt a fairy tale. Before I left the country and since she nearly joined me travelling, when after looking like she would changed her mind.
Since we split Ive had a few girlfriends though none have worked, I no longer get upset and cry but full of dissapointment as I love this woman with all my heart and would give anything for another crack at the whip. I know I should just let go and have no contact but it is so hard, especially when we are getting on so well.

Please shed some light on what she is thinking!!! Dont mind, just be straight. Would be great to hear from someone who has been in this situation, especially a lady.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 7:05pm

Welcome to the board howto.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2007
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 9:27pm
I am sorry you have to go thru that..i am just getting over being dumped 7 weeks ago by my ex-boyfriend..i have not contacted..which has been hard..but i am trying to save my dignity..although...i did have a guy..about a year ago..that i broke up with..he continued to call..text....instead of me liking it...it pushed me away..he did not give me a chance to miss him...i might have given him another chance if maybe he left me alone!!! my advice to you is to cut off all contact!!! you are not there to be her comfort..if she doesnot want you ..leave..do not text her, call her or take her calls..i guarantee that when u stop contact..especially not taking or returning her calls..she will wonder where u are..why u have disappeared...leave her alone...she may realize she wants u around more than a friend..but she has to realize that for herself...i know it hurts!!! but take it day by day...let her miss u!!! no contact..