Giving it until Sunday, then breaking NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Giving it until Sunday, then breaking NC
109
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 2:43pm

I've decided against everyone elses advice, that I just cant do it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 3:59pm
I dont understand why everyone is so against making contact.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2006
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 4:03pm

If u feel that strongly about it, I say go ahead and do it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 4:05pm

Daisy, you're going to do what you want to do regardless of our opinion. But our opinion is to best protect you based on the years and the amount of experiences people have had with this on this board. Pouring your heart out to an ex via letter/email is not the first time in history this has been done. But in general, for most people, this turns out to be a very disastrous move.


But I can tell your mind is made up. If it works for you, great! If not, we'll still be here to help.

 

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 4:09pm

Well, speaking for myself, it's because I've learned from experience (my own and many other people's) that trying to go right from being romantically involved to being friends without a period of no contact doesn't work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 4:11pm
Thank you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 4:14pm
I should have been more clear, I didn't mean friends as in "hey let me hook you up with this great girl I know".
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 4:19pm

Because without having a period of no contact, you won't be able to move on and get over him, that's why.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 4:30pm

Daisy, I think it is the most painful thing, yet eventually the most rewarding thing, to be able to walk away with your head held high that YOU were the better person in this situation. Try to imagine yourself weeks/months from now and how good you will have felt by NOT sending the letter. Please write it, but don't send it. I think often times they reason we want to send the letter is because we want to be "heard," and sort of count or matter in this world. It's a gigantic and painful pill to swallow but it's the first major step in developing a strong self-esteem. You said yourself that you were attracted to people who were very bad for you and this guy was the first nice guy to come along. They don't come along...you choose. And that choice was an amazing first step. Don't take steps backwards!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 4:58pm

Quite the dramatic statement, "I can't do this, so I'm going to wait until Sunday."

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2008
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 6:43pm

We all offer valid points based on our "own" experiences, but Daisy is going through her own "unique" experience which may require a different format.


The most important consideration is how it makes "you" feel in the end. I personally and professionally would never advise anyone NC, unless in an abusive circumstance. NC is not

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