Giving it until Sunday, then breaking NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Giving it until Sunday, then breaking NC
109
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 2:43pm

I've decided against everyone elses advice, that I just cant do it.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-13-2008 - 11:25am
My thoughts exactly!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2006
Sun, 01-13-2008 - 1:31pm
i'm sorry to hear you're having a tough time, i know how it feels believe me. i didn't see my ex until exactly two months after we broke up, on the day that would have been our two year anniversary :( the only advice i have to give if youre planning to see him is to make a list of the things you DON'T want to say to him, things you feel might come out in the moment that you know will only make the situation worse. i wish i had done that so i could have made a more conscious effort not to come off so emotionally frazzled.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Sun, 01-13-2008 - 2:19pm
i wish i could say i was doing better, but im not.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2004
Sun, 01-13-2008 - 2:39pm

Stay strong daisy2378!!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-13-2008 - 2:42pm

No, it's far too soon for time to have had much of an effect.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Sun, 01-13-2008 - 2:47pm
I really dont see how it can get much worse then it is right now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Sun, 01-13-2008 - 3:03pm

Have you seeked any counseling?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Sun, 01-13-2008 - 3:21pm
No, and I dont intend to either.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Sun, 01-13-2008 - 4:16pm

Hi Daisy,

Time definitely does heal, but -- well, you've got to give it time. I'm talking months or even years. It's only been a few weeks for you, right? That's peanuts along the healing continuum. And what some people say about the healing period equalling the length of the relationship is baloney. The healing period depends on how DEEPLY you got involved, how much HOPE you had in the relationship, and how SURPRISED you were by its ending. It took me much longer (and was much more painful) for me to get over that 3-month relationship I described earlier than to get over my first marriage, which lasted 11 years. That's because I had put ALL my emotional eggs in the relationship, which was all bound up with hopes for personal transformation, adventure and redemption. The whole thing happened in a foreign country, where I'd gone to live after leaving both husband and career -- so it HAD to work out. When it didn't, I felt I had nothing to show for having lived 34 years on this earth. It was a scary, disorienting feeling, and it took me a year and a half to return to anything near normal. I don't think it needs to take that long with you -- I just wanted to illustrate that even an extreme case like mine can come to a happy resolution in the end.

It sounds like you could benefit from talking to a counsellor or therapist. I hope you explore this opportunity, and keep posting on this board if that helps. We're all here for you.

Freelance

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