Giving it until Sunday, then breaking NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Giving it until Sunday, then breaking NC
109
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 2:43pm

I've decided against everyone elses advice, that I just cant do it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 7:14pm
Unless every word coming out of his mouth was a lie, then we were going the same direction in life.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 7:34pm

Well, *you*, that's who it's going to hurt (at least potentially).

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 7:46pm
I wont waste my time, I will still go out and hang out with my friends and stuff like that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2007
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 9:35pm
I still don't get why you would want someone who is saying I don't want you. Don't you want to be with someone who wants you? Don't settle!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 9:47pm

i really think my last boyfriend and i were going to make it and we didnt, but we both believe in fate and destiny and since the timing was not right at the time for us, i can say that i still have hope that destiny will bring us back together one day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 12:19am
Cause I guess I just dont believe that everything is black and white, and to me it wouldnt be settiling
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 12:57am

You're right, nobody was in the relationship with you. But the relationship we're all in is essentially the same - it's one that failed for some reason. Which means that somewhere along the way, no matter how sincere his words or intentions were when he said them, he broke them when he broke up with you. And you are not unique in this respect. I can ASSURE you that at some point my ex was in love with me. And when he promised to stay with me forever, he meant it at the time. And I'm not an idiot, I thought I understood him best in the world. Yet here I am, a casualty of heartbreak. Whoever he was when he said he loved me was not the same person that broke my heart rather callously. And if you remember nothing else from this speech, remember this - the man you thought you knew isn't the man that broke up with you. You do not know that man that broke up with you but that, for better or for worse, is the man that your ex has become.

But I think everyone is only giving you what they've experienced. And time and time again, people who deem themselves the 'exception' to the rules often fall the hardest. Perhaps you are, perhaps you aren't, neither I nor anyone else can tell the future. I can list at least a dozen people off this board who have tried that route and failed, but it's not my intention to beat down your decision.

Anyways, regardless of whatever we say, the decision is still yours. You can wait, go, send emails, maintain NC, that's all up to you. And we're all still here if it doesn't go as you planned.

All the best,


- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your past - there's a reason they didn't make it into your future.
- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 4:15am
Reading this thread invoked a lot of emotions in me. I too (like most everyone) went through an EXTREMELY painful breakup a few years ago, though I still remember it like it was yesterday. When my ex broke up with me, it was completely out of nowhere and I called for days, never got a response; I emailed him "pouring my heart out" (several times) and got no response. I was so furious at him because he seemed to have not a care in the world about me, but in all honesty, it was the best thing he could have ever done for me. If I would have let myself hold out the slightest hope that he would come back, I never would have moved on. You are torturing yourself and you will remain at a standstill for as long as you allow yourself to do so. The key word in your previous post was that you WERE on the same path. You obviously aren't anymore and you need to accept that. And believe it or not, people can really fall out of love in two weeks. It happens. Sure, he may come back, but you have someone that's telling you, mincing no words, that he does NOT want to be with you. He's OVER you. So spin that however you'd like, but you'll only be compromising your standards because you deserve so much better than that. I KNOW no contact is hard. It would be so much easier right now to email him every time you think of something new that you somehow forgot to cover the last time you spoke to him. I did this very thing. It accomplishes NOTHING. You've written, now it's time to start healing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 8:53am
Its only 9am, and I feel so horrible today.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 11:14am
You are not alone. I was saying the same thing yesterday, too. I didn't do much work but I survived another day. They say it will get better. Time is a four letter word. It's a scary ride on this roller coaster, the ups and downs can be extreme. Work is probably the best place for us. Eventhough, I can't get much work done. Fact is I can't make him want to come back to me. I have no control over this situation. I only have control over me, and I can only take it a moment at a time. OOOO there's that word again, time. I really have learned to dislike that word. Just know that we are all on your side. Lots of hugs for you.

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