Giving it until Sunday, then breaking NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Giving it until Sunday, then breaking NC
109
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 2:43pm

I've decided against everyone elses advice, that I just cant do it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 3:40pm
You can't see or understand anything now, because the pain is too intense, and your blinded by the feelings of how great the relationship "was" and all the time shared with this person, and without notice, the relationship is over. Your lost, and you don't know what happened, and maybe one day you will. It's hard to move past the "why", but you got to find away. Look, because I've been there, you just have to weather this storm, until the days are
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 3:47pm
Mine hasnt even been 3 yet.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 3:51pm
Okay, but just one question.....how do you know I will be okay?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 3:57pm

You're right...WE DON'T KNOW. Don't waste your time on this guy...he doesn't want you anymore and there IS someone out there for you...but you'll never find him if you just waste away waiting for this guy to get his head out of his butt.


Daisy, we care about you which is why we're fighting for you harder than you are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 4:07pm
I will read the link.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2006
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 4:13pm

i totally understand how you are feeling right now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 4:18pm

Daisy,


I have been following your story because you and I were broken up with i guess around the same time and we are both having an incredibly difficult time.


I dated my bf for an entire year, and what makes it harder is we both have small children, talked about marriage, living together, we named our babies, knew each others families...i have been married before and i was positive (after saying i would never do it again) that i had found the one.


When i seriously brought up our future, he broke up with me. no explanation other then he couldnt see one, it wasn't going to work, the relationship had no legs, etc, etc, etc. I was doing great with no contact, but then i had a slip up, and called him sunday. he was nice to me, and we talked for over an hour. not about getting back together, he made it clear to me he didn't want to do that, but he explained why he broke up with me. he told me he just didn't know if he was ready ever to get married again, and i was a single mom who wanted to (not now, but at some point) and he didn't want to waste years of my life on something he didn't know if it would happen. He himself is in the second year of a divorce with a crazy ex, and i asked him if that had something to do with not wanting a future. he said possibly. He said, the easy thing to do would be to call me, to see me...but he knows its not fair, because even if we fall into that same relationship, its not going to go where i want it to go. when he broke up with me he cried for days. he told me the reason he did was because it was the hardest decision he ever had to make. he said he could have stayed indefinately in what we had but it wasn't fair to me. he also said, he thinks i miss him more then he misses me, because he doesn't feel the need to get back together asap. If you ask me, i think he has some major issues he has to work through. he needs therapy, we talked about it, he told me i was probably right. i told him he could come with me (as i am now in therapy since the breakup) and he said he would think about it. truth is, he probably won't even think about it for a second, even though he said it. i asked him why he hadn't returned my stuff yet, he said he didn't know why. i told him maybe its hard for him. he said maybe. i asked him what his friends thought of the breakup, he said they were shocked, and they loved me, and i asked if they thought he should do the work. he said yes they did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 4:27pm

Ok, you made me laugh for the first time since I begin reading your posts, and that's one good sign. You have a little

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 4:28pm

I agree with what you said.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 4:33pm

I read your post and a lot of what you says does make sense to me.

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