Giving it until Sunday, then breaking NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Giving it until Sunday, then breaking NC
109
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 2:43pm

I've decided against everyone elses advice, that I just cant do it.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 5:02pm

Your ex *could* absolutely turn out to be the right guy for you, at some point in the future (keep in mind that timing is a huge part of being right for each other).

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 5:33pm

Daisy-and to let you know, you are SO not alone in wanting the fairy tale ending. I think all of us at some point, whether we were dating someone we totally thought was the "one," or even someone who cheated or was abusive, hoped that our ex's would come back crawling on their hands and knees, or popped their head out of a white limo with flowers in their teeth and crawled up a fire escape to rescue you.


My ex and I had what I thought was the perfect relationship too, when out of the blue he just said he couldn't continue the relationship with me. After 5 years and I was just about to move to another city with him. I'm left without any explanation because the only explanation I needed was that he didn't want a future with me...and that's all I really need to know. It's been three months and some days you crawl through the pain inch by agonizing inch...and then some days you will find that you are totally fine...and hey, sometimes even happy.


To be honest, I'm not sure my ex, or maybe even yours knows the real why as to why they broke up what was a seemingly good relationship. They just know something was "off" or not right. I have many a friend who is now divorced because they went ahead with their relationship and got married even though they felt the itch that something wasn't quite right, even though they loved the person they were with.


One of my favorite lines pertaining to this is from the movie, singles. "Would you rather be his Miss. Right or his Miss. Maybe?" Yeah, I would rather be his Miss. Right.


Have you read any breakup books? I swear to you, they are SO helpful!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2006
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 7:37pm

Daisy,

I read this entire thread and it made me cry. Because everything you've said, I'm feeling too. It's been five months, and I know that it's unhealthy and stupid, but hope is the only thing that gets me through every day. I too believe that he is the one I'm meant to be with, that in one or five or ten years we will come out of this stronger. For now, I'm not crying to him anymore, I'm not begging for him back, I've accepted the fact that he has a new girlfriend, but there is still a place in my heart that tells me it's not the end, that if we're meant to be together like I truly believe that we are, we will come back to each other. Pathetic? Probably. But like you, I can't get out of bed without believing it. I truly appreciate the advice of everyone on this board, and I know that there is truth in what everyone says...but you're just not over it until you're over it. Know that you're not alone. Keeping you in my thoughts and big hugs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 7:49pm

beg88,


hang in there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 7:51pm
Thats right, I wouldnt want to be his "Mrs Maybe".
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 7:56pm

Beg,


I'd say I'm glad someone else is feeling the same, but I wouldnt wish this pain on anyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2006
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 8:10pm

It is a great quote, I have one from the movie Say Anything that I like to remember also:

"Nobody thinks it will work, do they?"
"No. You just described every great success story."

What I'm telling myself right now is that if we do get back together sometime in the future, our relationship will be that much stronger because we came back. And if not, I'll be that much closer to getting over him for good.

Hang in there :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 10:04pm
Good for you, girl. I totally agree. Do whatever makes YOU feel better! It's bound to help!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2007
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 2:46am

Daisy--


As I read this thread, I find myself thinking, "Me, too...Me, too...."

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 9:04am
Im still in the hope that he comes back, but if not, I hope one day that Im happy again too.

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