Giving it until Sunday, then breaking NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Giving it until Sunday, then breaking NC
109
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 2:43pm

I've decided against everyone elses advice, that I just cant do it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 11:43am

Daisy,


it takes more than 3 weeks- it takes months. But don't despair because you are over the worst and from here there are little steps every single day, some you just dont notice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 12:17pm
It sure doesnt feel that way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 12:51pm
Do you feel emotionally strong enough to handle seeing him? Prepare yourself to leave if things are too hard for you. You need to put yourself first this Saturday and not worry about anything else, but how you are doing! Hope it goes well for you
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 1:20pm
Im really not prepared for anything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2007
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 1:59am
The reason you aren't feeling any progress is because each time you contact him or see him, you go back to square one. Instead of even ATTEMPTING to move forward, you are only clinging to the hope that he will come back. You can't expect to just wake up one day and feel better. It is a process, and one you must consciously work at. If you see him on Saturday, you will have a major setback. I really feel for you because I've been there, but you have to do something for yourself. I understand not wanting to go out, meet another guy, etc. but you have to start telling yourself, "If he doesn't come back, what will I do? How will I ensure my happiness?" If you don't force yourself to start to move past this, you never will. It takes a conscious effort at all times for months. Then it will get easier..and easier. But if you don't help yourself, there is nothing that can be done. I truly hope you come to realize this because life WILL go on. How you choose to go along with it is up to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2007
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 5:40pm

I also fear for someone who waits for someone who has already rejected them to come back and make them happy OR anyone who just sits around waiting for someone else to make them feel better.


The ONLY one you can depend on for your happiness is YOU.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 9:13pm

Im not about to not go on Saturday.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2007
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 11:08pm

You know, we are here for ADVICE and support. Reading through the posts, you've gotten very much support, even when the posters don't necessarily agree with your decisions, and some damn good advice. No one here wants you to substitute their advice for your own judgment but it seems to me that when advice is given, your first response is to be defensive. I wasn't suggesting you not go to your function, but simply stating my opinion that by seeing him, you will lose any ground you may have gained in the past few weeks.

I understand that it is therapeutic to vent your feelings, so I hope you continue to do so. But I truly hope you try another strategy other than waiting around on him. You say you are feeling so terribly miserable. So why not TRY to begin to move on and see what that's like. It couldn't be any worse, could it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 11:44pm
Im honestly not trying to be defensive.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2007
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 12:15am
I know it's very hard and I wish you all the happiness in the world. You deserve it!

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