Going out of my mind! Question...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2006
Going out of my mind! Question...
4
Wed, 07-12-2006 - 3:27pm
~ Deleted By Poster


Edited 7/12/2006 7:00 pm ET by newyorkgal99
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2006
Wed, 07-12-2006 - 4:13pm

I'm going to put in my 2 cents even though I'm a man. Sorry.

You said you broke it off but he would have to initiate contact. That can be confusing to another person man or woman. If you have all these feelings for and a connection with him, you should contact him. There is nothing wrong with sitting down and talking about what you and he want now. That's not going to hurt either of you. But not knowing is obviously bothering you or you wouldn't post here.

You have a chance to communicate which is more than I have with my recent breakup. Things may work or not but you have to try. There is a risk involved but there is some risk with most anything worth going for.

I'm not sure you want to go another 3 weeks and still be wondering these same things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2006
Wed, 07-12-2006 - 4:25pm
I agree with Group A. You may have initiated the breakup, but apparently he was completely on board with it. He could have said no, "you are the only one that I want", and started an exclusive relationship from there.
By the way, I know EXACTLY how you feel, I'm in the same boat, except long distance was our determining factor, not him wanting to have a taste of single life. Its been one week here NC and I'm going crazy too.
Hang in there! Don't contact him!!!
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-12-2006 - 4:26pm

Ok, first of all, it's not like there's a NC manual with all the rules spelled out, that we all pull off the shelves and consult!

The whole point of no contact is so YOU can heal and move on, because staying in contact with someone you still have romantic feelings for but for whatever reason, can't be in a romantic relationship with, is going to be painful for you and will keep you stuck in limbo. It doesn't matter WHO broke it off...if you still have feelings for the man, you need to not have contact with him in order to move on.

What I would do in your situation is make *sure* that he knows that IF and when he is healed from his previous relationship and 100% ready to give a committed relationship with you a try, then you would *welcome* contact from him. But in the meantime, you need to not have contact with him so you can move on, just in case he never gets to that point.

Once you've made that clear, then if you find that you have gotten over your romantic feelings for him and are ready to be friends, a few months or years down the road (however long it takes), and he hasn't gotten in touch in the meantime, then you should take the initiative and contact him.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2006
Wed, 07-12-2006 - 4:29pm
Sheri, great advice.