going thru break up
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| Mon, 12-11-2006 - 10:14am |
hello, everyone.
Well, I don't know where to start. My husband and I have been married for almost 8yrs. We have 3 children together. 2 boys and a little girl ages: 6, 3, and just turned 2. In that time we have struggled with a lot of stuff. An yesterday my husband said to me that he thought that we'd make better friends and parents than husband and wife. I asked him about counseling (up until now he's always told me that he'd go and do anything to keep us together) he said that he didn't think that it would help. That we'd just end up getting more angry with each other.
I'm not so much upset as I am worried. I mean I haven't been "In Love with Him" in a long time. But what about our children? They love their father so much. And I love seeing them play together. I don't want them to be hurt by this. You try so hard to protect them from people who may hurt them, and in the end it turns out that you are the one that does the hurting. The other worry is that I have been a stay at home mother, for the last 8 yrs. I have a degree but, have never had the chance to use it. I don't have much experience. I really don't know what to do. Does anyone have some friendly advice. If so thank you in advance.
Jess:}

I think as long as you and your ex try to divorce in an amicable way, putting your children first, they will be fine. In fact, they will be in a better environment being able to have both of you apart without all of the tension of you trying to stay together. As far as experience do not cut yourself short! Running a home is a lot like running a business or an office. I'm not sure what your degree is in, but you can use those "homemaker skills" in just about any job setting. On your resume, enhance those skills that you perfected at home that can be used in the business setting. For example, wrangling kids into getting a task accomplished is a lot like trying to wrangle adults into a meeting and getting something done and believe me the adults will probably act more like children than the children themselves! Being a mother is the epitomy of multi-tasking. The skill of multi-tasking is essential in business today, where employees are being asked to do more with less. You already have that perfected dealing with three kids all day. You have skills, you just have to figure out how to frame them so that they will work in a job setting. You can do it!
good luck!
YG
YG
http://twodatediva.blogspot.com/
Thank you so much!!!!! I hadn't thought about all the things that I've learned since becoming a mother. Although, people have always told me that it was harder being a stay at home mom than having a full time job. We'll see.
thanks again for your advice.
I am a single mom and like you, I was not in love with my husband toward the end of our marriage. I basically stayed with my ex-husband the last year for my daughter's sake and then realized that was not a good reason to stay married. I divorced my ex when our daughter was three and now she is six and is a very happy child who is doing very well in school. Your children are young enough to accept this and will quickly rebound emotionally. If you are not in love with you husband, you two need to part ways NOW before you two end up hating each other or your children get any older. You must part as friends for your children's sake because you two will always have a co-parenting relationship. I would highly suggest joint custody, I live in Kansas and it is an automatic thing unless one of the parents is unsuitable for joint custody. Your kids will be okay if you and your husband part ways and you will then have to work on moving on emotionally for yourself. After my divorce, I stayed out of the dating scene for over a year and concentrated on getting my life back together and making sure my daughter was okay.
Your kids are number one and wouldn't you want your kids to come from a broken household instead of living in one?
I wish you the best!