good days, bad days... why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2004
good days, bad days... why?
3
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 7:12pm
This seems like such a trivial question, and it actually is in comparison to many other messages on this board... the only guy I've ever been in love with broke up with me several weeks ago, but in a very vague/standoffish/"i'll just back out slowly because I dont have the courage to do this" way. I've fallen out of love with him, although I still truly care about him and would help him in any way I could. My question (and maybe it's supposed to stay a mystery) is why (even after no real contact in weeks) do I wake up some mornings feeling like the world is my own and he's the last thing I need, and then other days I wake up and feel as though I've lost the only thing I ever wanted? Two days ago, a close friend noticed that I was being quiet and said "I'm here, you know" and I lost it. I also cried randomly (ex: driving to work) for the next two days, just once a day and it lasts a few minutes, then I'm fine. Every time I get emotional, it hits me so hard how much I miss him and how I truly thought we were going to be together forever. Then other days, I'm great! Life feels perfect and better off without him. Today is one of those days, but I'm not looking forward to the next time I'm simply drifting off to sleep and he suddendly invades my mind and I lose it. How long will this go on?! Has anyone been in this position??
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 9:05pm
I imagine most of the people on this board have experienced the same thing. I don't know why, it just seems that is the process of getting over someone. It does get better - you will have more "good" days and fewer "bad" days. I've had a couple of good weeks, and the last couple of nights I've dreamt about him and wake up sad. Having been through this before, I am trying to just wait it out until I'm through this bad cycle. Just keep telling yourself it WILL get better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2004
Thu, 06-16-2005 - 12:52pm
yeah i get exactly the same thing....the funny thing is how much of a contrast each feeling is. Some days i really couldnt care less about him and dont care what he's doing and other days i get hysterical and REALLY feel like i need him and cant live without him...weird isnt it? I hate the times when i feel like i need him cos i end up calling him and seeing him and it all goes back to square 1.Its really hard to be strong and not call someone when you want to.
But what i have noticed is that when i do see him i realise all the reasons why i shouldnt be with him and its just crap so what i dont understand is why i get crazy to see him in the first place???
Also it does start to get a bit boring when you cry and feel like S**t and there comes a point when you just cant cry anymore and say to yourself what am i doing? which is what i've realised now......its getting ridiculous and there comes a point when you just have to move on cos theres just nothing else you can do.F*** them their the ones that have lost out.Next.................lol!Goodluck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
Thu, 06-16-2005 - 10:13pm
It all part of the healing process, and until your 100% over the "ex", you will have those days. Take whatever day your having, accept it, and just go on to the next day. It is very hard, and I'm experiencing, 7 mos of post break-up, and I still have good days and bad. When it's PMS time, I expect to have more bad days than good, because I'm very emotional. You already know, that's how "us" females get sometimes, during that time. Also, be prepared, when something tramatic happens, your bad days get intense and you think about the "ex" more. When my father passed away, I thought about the "ex" more, and my bad days were almost everyday. But it has been months, and now I'm back to normalcy, with still some good days and bad days. I pray every night, and ask God to continue to heal my heart, and make my bad days farther apart. I do believe, that this will pass, when, I don't know, and accept I'm healing at my own pace, and so are you. Take your time, I know it's hard, but when this is all over, your going to wonder, how you survived this. Take care