got an 'i love you' text message

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2007
got an 'i love you' text message
6
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 8:37am
It's been three weeks since my bf of 8 mos. dumped me and left me devastated. There was no contact, and then when he didn't call me on my birthday I wrote him a letter. That was last week; it's probably been four or five days since he got it. So I just got that breakup book 'It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken' and have been really coming to terms with this reality of mine, when this morning, as I lay in bed trying desperately to fall back asleep, (from 4:30 a.m. til 6:40) I noticed I had a text message. It came from just a number (since I deleted him from my phone as soon as he dumped me) but of course I knew who it was. Sent at 12:15 a.m. 'Good night. I love you.'
WTF?
The book would tell me to do nothing, I bet.
What would you do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 9:09am
Wow that is tough. I am trying to think what I would really do if that were me. My boyfriend broke up with me June 4 and didnt call me on my birthday last Friday. I was hysterical and sent him a text at 11 just saying "thanks." I got no response. So at that point I promised myself I am going to completely break contact. To be honest if that were me and I got a text saying "Goodnight. I love you" I would first think ok it is 12:15 and the liklihood is that he was probably drunk when he wrote it. However, I don't know if your ex is really into the party scene but mine definitely was.
For you it seems like the no contact rule is completely working because obviously he is still thinking about you. I know I would probably give in and text him back but I agree with you that everyone is probably going to advise you against it. if you really are almost over him it might be smarter to not respond.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2006
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 9:45am
My personal take is, don't do anything. Not as "advice" but the way I am is STUBBORN! Clearly he is testing you and you not responding will show you are not on a string he can pull at any time. It will bug him which is GREAT!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 11:35am

I say, finish the book first, then decide what you want to do. Do you feel like this break up is the best thing for both of you? Do you see your relationship working in the future? Even if he pulls another stunt like breaking up with you again?

He's feeling lonely, and now he's starting to wonder why you aren't begging him to come back. If you really feel like getting back together is the right thing, then he needs to do a LOT more than send some dinky text message... maybe you need some flowers, a singing telegram, and ummmm maybe a trip to the Caribbean or something. Don't make it that easy for him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 12:16pm

Welcome to the board quietdomino7,


I would do nothing. If he's not stepping up to the plate in person, saying it and saying he wants to make it work, then consider it a drunk text and let it go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 1:14pm
I guess everyone's pretty much covered it, but my two cents. If he's truly serious about getting back together, you not responding to one text message is not going to deter him from begging you back.
- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2007
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 2:59pm
thanks. you are right. I guess he doesn't want to get back together, anyway. Just now I got an email saying 'sorry for last night, I was feeling emotional etc. etc.' Thanks, buddy! Back to getting over him!