got rid of a jerk, got my happiness back

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
got rid of a jerk, got my happiness back
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 1:08pm
I broke up with my jerk/bad boy of 10 months, 2 and a half weeks ago. I used to think I was lucky to have him cause he was a bad boy and all that stuff........It was so hard........but I got tired of him treating me badly. So I ended things. The first few days, I cried. It hurt alot............I felt like I couldnt live without him. But then .........I started feeling happy. I didnt miss him being ungrateful or using me or making me feel bad. I started feeling good about myself. I went out and bought nice things for myself.......you know, face masks........new body wash that i wanted......even a few clothes. I was feeling good. I didnt feel like I had to do things for him so he would love me anymore.......I needed to do things for myself. I deserved nice things and a good guy. I realized that........I had supportive friends to help me through...........its only been 2.5 weeks I know but I feel So much better. My self esteem is up.........I am doing things that make me happy.......my ex wasnt making me happy. He used me for money, to help him study(we're in college), to comfort him, to be affectionate with him (although we didnt have sex), I was his support in so many ways, but he did nothing for me but hurt me........I did everything I could to make him love me. But he ended up choosing someone else to be with.........his current gf. I was hurt. But I was also happy........this was my ticket out of this bad friendship.........and I used it. I will not go back...........I have learned alot.........and I relaize that I dont have to make anyone love me, I am good how i am........and he was too stupid to see that.......I guess maybe he did see it sometimes but he thought I would alwys be here. He had me on a leash I guess......but I am so glad that I let myself free.........I sometimes have flashbacks of the few goodtimes we had but I now see that it wasnt worth the heartache......I am smart, pretty, and successful....and I had forgotten that I guess. What I am trying to say is that , if you are a gorl and you are dating a jerk, DUMP HIM. It will hurt at first............but you will feel 100x better than you do now. I promise.........But you deserve better than someone who treats you bad........I am trying to stay focused on my life...........I'm taking better xcare of myself, spending time with my friends, shopping, reading.eating foods I love........just doing things that make me happy. My ex wasnt making me happy.......I am just..feeling so so free.......I'm free. When I see him now I feel disgusted with him for how he treated me and I realize that he "aint all that"! And yeah, I have my moments....but I am truly happier now than when I was with him. If anyone who was in a similar situation please share you thoughts or any comments...all is welcome!