guidelines on actually how to break up!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2006
guidelines on actually how to break up!!
1
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 10:07am

ok, my problem is basically i dont know how to let my boyfriend go. We've been dating for about 2 years in July and i've been getting these things where i want other guys. We broke up about a few days ago, but got back together. I was telling him that they were just feelings and i'd be back, but im not sure that "being back" is really what i want. I know i love him, and i know he loves me, but im not sure if i want to be in a realationship with "him" anymore. But i just dont know how to let him go without telling him i want him back, to letting him go and him begging to come back. i need like simple rules and regs. that i can follow to tell myself i dont want him back, everything will be ok, and your life will be normal again. I know its a heartache because ending a 2 year relationship is always a heartache, but im going to be 18 in about a week, and my license in exactly a week. I dont want to be pressured into not being able to go out, and do what i want and hang out w/who i want, and i have friends that may want rides that he doesn't like and i dont want him to be mad because they're my friends and im giving them a ride. its a big time jealiousy factor out of this that im trying to get rid of also, i just basically need guidelines on how to end it and stay away.

please please please!!!!!!!! help me out

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 12:05pm

Grieving is a process. Everyone has their own time table of how long, how much, etc. If it's really your decision to end it, then you will have to be the one to set the boundaries - no contact (no answering the phone, emails, IM's, text messages), stay away from places that you know he hangs out at and allow yourself to grieve - cry when you need (want to), journal write, read some good books on the topic (see list below), you have to decide what's best for you and be the one to be strong and follow through.

Reading material:
Rebuilding When a Relationship Ends, Bruce Fisher
Mars and Venus Starting Over, John Gray
Olive Juice...and Other Thoughts on Love, Heartbreak and Moving Forward by Eric Champnella
It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken : The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy, by Greg Behrendt


Carrie