guilt...regret?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
guilt...regret?
2
Sun, 06-26-2005 - 9:23pm

the good news is that i was on these boards a year or so ago and i'm totally over the person i never thought i would get over. the boards help and if i can help anyone by assuring them that they WILL feel better, i'm glad of it.

that said, i'm struggling with something else right now. my situation is different than the heartbreak i was going through. i've basically broken someone else's heart (which doesn't happen often in my life, believe me) and i'm having a hard time with it. i dated this guy for 5 - 6 weeks and he came on very strong from the start. although he was very sweet and adoring and had a lot of good qualities, i always felt a little anxious about it. i began to start figuring out how to end it while he was talking about our future. of course there's the usual fear that i'll never meet anyone else, never be happy with ANYONE, etc. and even though most of the time the relationship didn't feel right to me, i think i'm having some kind of knee-jerk feelings of regret. i guess it's hard to see it clearly because i feel sad about the pain he's feeling and because he was so "there" that even though i wanted to get out of it, i began to become emotionally attached to him.

i don't entirely understand the pain i'm going through right now, but i think any words of encouragement will help.

thanks in advance.
neppi

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 4:22pm
Dear, 6 weeks is a very short time to "fall in love" like this guy did. Perhaps, he was infatuated with you and thought he loved you. I would have felt the same way you did. If you felt weird and ended it you did the right thing. He'll heal and move on, just like the rest of the people who face a break up. Don't feel guilty for breaking up something you felt wasn't right for you. Rememeber that to feel secure in a relationship, the relationship should be one where both parties feel comfortable.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 5:57pm
thank you. i appreciate your words -- it's hard to feel like i did the right thing when i've hurt someone, but that will pass and i'll see it more clearly. and he'll heal and move on.