HAHAHA I FINALLY MOVE ON THANKS GOD!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
HAHAHA I FINALLY MOVE ON THANKS GOD!!
15
Mon, 02-06-2006 - 2:44pm
wells some of you might seen/read my post last week about(my bf just stop calling me for no reason)...i just wanna share my story to everybody..well days past and everything seems doing find FoR me and with some help of other people from ivillage given me some advises and really helps me alot.I WANT TO SAY THANKS TO THOSE PEOPLE!!! GOD BLESS YOU GUYS...AND WANNA LET YOU KNOW THAT MY BOYFRIEND CALL ME AGAIN LAST SATURDAY AND TOLD ME THAT HE MISS ME AND WE DIDNT OPEN UP ANYTHING ABOUT US...WELLS I HOPE THAT EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT AND AT THIS TIME. I'M MORE STRONGER AND READY TO TAKE THE RISK!! RELATIONSHIP IS JUST LIKE GAMBLING WINNING OR LOSING AND YOU NEED TO BE READY WHAT EVER IT TAKE!!! THIS IS MY ADVISE TO ALL LADYS THAT ARE HEART BROKEN...IF YOUR MEN REALLY LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT HAPPEN BETWEEN YOU GUYS..."HIS THE ONE WILL MAKE THAT FIRST MOVE"...AND IS UP TO YOU IF U OPEN THE DOOR FOR THEM AND IF U OPEN THAT DOOR PLEASE BE SURE THAT YOUR MORE READY THAN BEFORE....AND LET HIM GET CHALLENGE..BY YOU BEING LESS AVAILABLE FOR HIS NEED AND PLAYING HARD TO GET!!! LET HIM GET CRAZY FOR YOU...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2005
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 8:51am

Hi Jazz,

Hopefully, everything will work out for you. Just take your time and if you feel in your heart that you want to work things out be true to yourself. Also, do not settle for less than you deserve.

Paula

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 9:02am

hi there, i'm glad you're feeling better, but have you examined WHY you're feeling better? have you really worked on your issues surrounding this relationship and your "need" to be with someone/anyone because of your fear of being alone...or are you just feeling better because your bf/ex bf called you? it seems to me it's because of the phonecall...and that worries me. this guy treated you like crap...stood you up, and avoided your phonecalls, then put the blame on you and took no responsibilty for it...what kind of person is that? if he's like this after only 3.5 months, how do you think he will be a year from now?

i hope you don't take offense to this message, i'm just being honest. and i don't think it's good advise to be giving about playing games...and making the guy chase you, and playing hard to get etc...relationships...at least healthy relationships should not be about playing games...when we go through a break up, we should be taking the time to not just examine the relationship, but we should be examining ourselves, learning, growing, and healing...not scheming on how to get our ex back...i think that that is very damaging, and we are wasting a precious opportunity that god has given us to stretch, and grow.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 1:21pm

TO PAULA,

I'M NOT SAYING THAT I'M HAPPY BECAUSE HE CALLED ME..MY POINT IS I'M STRONGER NOW THAN BEFORE AND READY TO TAKE THAT RISK. I MEAN AT THIS POINT I WILL TAKE EVERYTHING SLOW AND REMEMBER THIS MY FRIEND NOTHING IN THIS WORLD IS PERMANENT..ALSO WE CANNOT COMPARE OUR RELATIONSHIP TO OTHER. EVERYBODY HAD THEIR OWN STORY AND EXPERIENCE AND YOU NEED TO LEARNED FROM THAT EXPERIENCE..WELL IF YOU ONLY READ MY POST I WROTE THAT HE ONLY DID THAT TO ME ONCE AND ITS UP TO ME IF I WILL KEEP HIM OR NOT..I'M NOT SAYING THAT I WILL LET HIM DO WHATEVER HE WANTS TO ME JUST FOR HIM TO BE THERE FOR ME HELL NO I'M NOT THAT CRAZY INLOVE TO HIM RIGHT!!! AND IF GOD COULD GIVE FORGIVENESS...I DO TOO!!! WELL LIKE WHAT YOU MENTION ITS NOT ABOUT PLAYING GAMES....HAVE YOU EVER THINK SOMETIMES THAT THE MORE WERE TRYING TO MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP BETTER IT ENDED SOON..I DONT KNOW IF YOU RECOGNIZED THAT SOMETIMES IT HAPPEN FOR SUCH REASON...DONT WORRY I'M NOT GETTING OFFENSE TO YOUR MESSAGE..I KNOW THAT YOUR JUST BEING CONCERNED AND YOU DONT WANT ME TO GET HURT LATER....THANKS I REALLY DO APPRECIATE YOUR KINDNESS!!! AND LIKE YOU MENTION (we are wasting a precious opportunity that god has given us to stretch, and grow) ACTUALLY ITS UP TO AS, IF WERE WASTING OUR TIME KEEPING HOPING TO A SUCH THING THAT ITS NOT MEANT TO HAPPEN...AND ITS UP TO AS IF WE OPEN THAT DOOR!!

(MAYBE YOU WANNA READ THIS SONG)

RAINBOW

Fallin' out, fallin' in
Nothing's sure in this world no, no
Breakin' out, breakin' in
Never knowin' what lies ahead
We can really never tell it all no, no, no
Say goodbye, say hello
To a lover or friend
Sometimes we never could understand
Why some things begin then just end
We can really never tell it all no, no, no

But oh, can't you see
That no matter what happens
Life goes on and on
So baby, just/please smile
Coz im always around you
And ill make you see how beautiful
Life is for you and me

Take a little time baby
See the butterflies color's
Listen to the birds that were sent
To sing for me and you
Can you feel me
This is such a wonderful place to be
Even if there is pain now
Everything would be all right
For as long as the world still turns
There will be night and day
Can you hear me
There's a rainbow always after the rain

Ohh, whoa

Hittin' high, hittin' low
Win or lose you should go, yeah yeah
Getting warm, getting cold
Weather could be so good or bad
But baby this is life now don't get mad no, no, no

Coz oh, cant you see
That no matter what happens
Life goes on and on
So baby, please smile
Coz im always around you
And ill make you see how beautiful
Life is for you and me

Take a little time baby
See the butterflies' colors
Listen to the birds that were sent
To sing for me and you
Can you feel me
This is such a wonderful place to be
Even if there is pain now
Everything would be all right
For as long as the world still turns
There will be night and day
Can you hear me
There's a rainbow always after the rain

Life's full of challenges
Not all the time we get what we want
But don't despair my dear coz I know now
You'll take each trial and you'll make it through the storm
Coz you're strong my faith in you is clear
So ill say once again this worlds wonderful and
Let us celebrate life that's so beautiful, so beautiful
Ohhhh

Take a little time baby
See the butterflies' colors
Listen to the birds that were sent
To sing for me and you
Can you feel me
This is such a wonderful place to be
Even if there is pain now
Everything would be all right
For as long as the world still turns
There will be night and day
Can you hear me
There's a rainbow always after the rain

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 2:00pm

jazz_meeh, it's not paula who wrote that to you, it's christie...

i never mentioned that you said you were happy because he called...i said it seemed as though that's why you were happy, and i asked you to be honest with yourself and question if that were true...trust me i'm happy for you and for all who are feeling strong/stronger..that's a wonderful feeling....but i just thought and still believe by your posts(and i'm not saying i'm right), that it seems as though you're happier and stronger because he called and you feel there's a chance of reconcilliation...and trust me when i say that it may feel good now, but it is temporary relief only. and i am a very forgiving person, you don't need to tell me that if God forgives, so can we....you can forgive, and i think that's actually a very important key role in healing and moving forward...BUT, forgiving someone doesn't neccessarily mean losing your self respect, and going back to someone who has proven to disrespect you...and ofcourse it's your choice..i never said otherwise..but you were on here to get some opinions and insight...and that's all i was doing.

i never compared my relationship to yours...i never even mentioned my relationship, so i'm not sure what you were getting at there..also, i'm not sure what you were getting at with "remember this my friend, nothing is permanant"....i never mentioned anything about anything being permanant..i'm quite aware thank you, that nothing...especially a relationship is permanant...i think all of us on this board is proof of that...and i didn't get the connection with what i wrote and the song...maybe there wasn't one, and you just wanted to share it..oh, and you mentioned that sometimes the more we work on a relationship, the sooner it ends...well, i'm not sure if i agree with that..if i understand it all, but sometimes it's not about working on the relationship..it's about working on our"self".

good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 3:34pm

TO christie

ACTUALLY WERE NOT TRYING TO HAVE ENEMY HERE OR EARNING FRIEND RIGHT? THE WORD YOU MENTIONED "OURSELF" THIS WORD IS A VERY SELFISH WORD...IN RELATIONSHIP WE NEED TO THINK OF THEM ALSO NOT ONLY "OURSELF"...RELATIONSHIP IT TAKES TWO NOT ONLY ONE FOR IT TO WORK...AND WHY SHOULD I LIE HERE.WHATS MAKE YOU THINK I'M NOT BEING HONEST TO MY SELF? WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M GETTING IF I LIE HERE? NOTHING!!! RIGHT

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 3:57pm
ok, i'm not sure why all the hostility...but, i don't think you understand what i'm trying to say...you have totally misunderstood EVERYTHING i'm trying to say..you need to read very carefully what i was saying to you before you jump to any conclusions or take offense. i never accused you of lying...and the word was our"self"...NOT "ourself"..neither word is selfish, and they are both very different..but obviously you have no idea what i'm talking about...if you'd stop being so deffensive when you hear something you don't like..or understand..you should take the time to try to understand and explore what is being said..you might learn something very valuable.


Edited 2/8/2006 2:22 pm ET by trying_2_heal
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 6:49pm
ok...............
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2005
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 5:01am
I had the same situation ,my ex used to call me many times after i broke off with him and told me how much he missed me..and each and everytime i fell into his BS traps..just remember actions speaks louder than words...i was only fooling myself to believe him thinking by him calling me i had the power to let him or anyone for that matter to chase me if he was serious enough to be with me and ..LESSONS LEARNED the hard way...it has been months since i heard from him..yes i do miss him at times but i have better days than i had before..to tell u guys i dont miss him would be a lie..as times goes by .it does get easy...NO one deserve to be treated this way...we cant change anything if we dont acknowledge the problems..do what u do to make urself happy and not to depend on someone to make u happy..god bless!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2005
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 1:28pm

Hi Jazz,

Honestly, Christie does not sound like she has hatred at all. She wrote you very thoughtful postings that a good friend would tell you. She is right about making sure you are doing things for the right reasons. I have to say I am truly do not carry bitter around from one relationship to the next and I loved her advice. Although, when you are happy and excited that things are working out you tend to not want to hear it. Things could work out with you. I hope for your sake they do and you get the love that you deserve. This just reminds me of when I was in high school and my friends would say something about my boyfriend and I would get pissed at them. Now as an adult I realize my friends were on too eachother. Just keep chatting, no one is bitter, just helpful!!

Paula

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2005
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 4:33am
We are all here for supports and advices ..to listen to each other story and knowing we are all going thru or went thru the exact same or different heartbreaks and that we are not alone... we all have different point of views of how to heal our painful ordeals..yes breaking off with someone whom you love and care so much is NEVER easy..some may take longer to heal than other but thats ok because each one is different and we need to respect and accept each one as individual..RELATIONSHIPS ARE NEVER EASY BUT SOMETIMES WE TEND TO IGNORE THE RED FLAGS AND CONTINUE TO GET OUR HEARTS BROKEN...I HAVE BEEN THERE MANY TIMES AND I AM NOT A SPRING CHICKEN BUT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT LEARNING EXPERIENCES AND WE ARE ONLY HUMAN ..i know every one is here to help each other with positive supports ....weather u want to take that person advice OR NOT is up to you but it never hurts to listen to them and take it whatever is working for each individual...remember we cant change 0ther esp men lol but ourselves...i hope we all come to an end and find happiness within ourselves and may be next time when we get into another relationship hopefully with more healthy,positive thoughts and and with cautions.....love and peace to all!!!

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