half rambling but mostly advice!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
half rambling but mostly advice!!!
2
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 10:10pm

So we found ourselves on this message board....


I don't know how well equipped I can possibly be to give advice but I do know what everyone is going through. Listen to the ladies on this board! A common thread in a lot of our situations is that no contact has become so hard to do! Once you do it ( It is not fun I know!) things will start to become so much clearer! We are/were so attached on our significant others that not talking to them now seems like the hardest thing to do. It gets easier though, I promise! For all of you that had children with your exes, my heart goes out to you. I know your situation is a million more times trickier, and I know that having no contact does not apply to you. I have not been in that particular situation and I could not imagine what you guys are going through when children have been added to the mix.


It took me six months to realize that I was over my ex. Yes, we were together for five years, and I am so thankful that I was able to let go, even if I wish I could have done it months ago. He was very unhealthy for me. He treated me so bad, I cannot even begin to tell you the things that he did to me. For those that are tempted to fall back into a toxic relationship... think about if the costs exceed the rewards!!! I believe it was Gottman (correct me if I am wrong!) that said there should be a 5 to 1 ratio for couples. I know that all of our situations are different, but if there have been more problems than good, get out! Make room for people that are worthy of you and that actually know how to treat a girlfriend/boyfriend!


I hope that I have been able to offer some sort of help! Listen to the hosts on this board, they really do hit the head on the nail! Also... NO CONTACT! It is hard but until you do it, the cycle will repeat itself! We need to all give ourselves more credit! We are all strong and will get through this!


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 11:37pm
Welcome to the board lzzyliz7 and thanks for sharing your story. Feel free to stick around.





iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 11:49pm

Thanks liz!

It's really nice to hear from someone who has been through it and come out happier the other side. :)