Happened again.........

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2005
Happened again.........
7
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 10:38am

Well I had a plan for this weekend, my boyfriend (now ex) said he'd take the day off work today and we'd have a nice long weekend together. So i call him this morning and ask him what time he's coming over, he tells me he'll be over in half an hour.
So he comes over, and tells me he doesn't want to be with me anymore.
What????!!!
He did this to me on the 10th of february,4 months ago to the day, then called me 3 days later.
Somehow this time i don't think thats going to happen again.
I'm confused because only the other day I was telling my friend I didn't know how much more crap I could take off him because he just never seemed to have any time for me but it was just such a shock today. He said that he didnt think of me as his girlfriend anymore (obviously I was just there as a convenience) and I moved up here from 300 miles away to be with him. I met him in boarding school when I was 16 and I'm now 19 so it's quite a big chunk of my short life just gone up in smoke.
I have only cried once, in a way i feel relieved because i dont have to be stressed all the time about when we get to see each other, and i feel that i can now be with someone who can treat me the way i deserve to be treated.
Last time we broke up i literally felt like i was gonna die, i couldnt stop crying, couldnt eat.... but now i feel strangely glad. Just a bit numb really. I can't even really miss him calling me and stuff because it was me doing all the calling most of the time.
I know obviously it's gonna hit me and i'm gonna feel like crap for a while, but then i'd rather feel like crap and get over it than feel like crap for the rest of my life being with him.
What do you guys think? do u think im in denial?
any advice would be much appreciated.
:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2005
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 12:28pm
Please someone reply so I know what to do........:(
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 1:13pm

I'm not sure what advice you're looking for...I think your observations are right on (you feel a little sad but mostly relieved because you're off the roller coaster).

I would do whatever you can to prevent him from contacting you (such as blocking him from emailing you) so you can move on and be ready to meeting someone who's right for you sooner rather than later.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2005
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 10:54pm

you're a really strong woman. i like what you had to write and i wish i could be as positive as you about my break up from this morning.

i think you're on the right track. i've heard lots of baths and outings with friends are at the very least a good start to getting over a guy. i watched alot of movies when i went through a huge break up in college and that seemed to help - if nothing else - me getting to sleep at night.

good luck and i'm sure you'll find someone more deserving of you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2005
Sat, 06-11-2005 - 4:11pm
I'm not saying it's easy, obviously, but I just keep telling myself that I will find someone better who will treat me right, and I will get over it. Still haven't cried again but the feeling of numbness is there. I don't have any desire to call him at all. If u want to talk I'm at fluffypole@hotmail.co.uk feel free to mail me anytime ok?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2005
Sat, 06-11-2005 - 8:01pm

thanks for the reply. hopefully, i'll feel better soon. i'm doing tons better today because i know it was never going anywhere. i'm just kinda sad that i'm alone. it hurts for someone to not care about not being with you but that's life sometimes i guess. i'm glad it's over but sad because he was such a big part of my life.

hope you're feeling better and good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 10:18pm
I'm sorry to hear about your break-up but am glad to hear you are taking it so well.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2005
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 5:09am
Yeah I'm doing ok, I haven't run off home like I did last time! Actually I have plans that I never could/would have done had I still been with him....I'm currently sorting out a visa to become a nanny in the U.S.! I'm really excited and it's so nice to have something to look forward to. I just say, good luck to him stagnating in his little village, living with his parents forever, I'm off to bigger and better things, I don't need him (and I may even find a cute American guy - Vin Diesel, I am available!) lol. Sometimes, yeh, I get upset but then I think, well what's the point?? It didn't work and it's sad but at the end of the day life's too short for me to mope around forever. Gonna find me a nice new guy who deserves me and treats me the way I deserve to be treated!!!!
Anyone who needs advice my email address is on the post ok :)