A happy ending...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
A happy ending...
2
Wed, 12-15-2004 - 9:47am

Hi!
Here's my story, it's a happy one...

My boyfriend and I were together for 5 years... He's a nice guy, a good companion and a good listener, I'm a bit more rough and not always so nice, but somehow we got together and the beginning was great, as it tends to be... We lived together for a year, until I graduated and moved to another town 100 miles away to work. I came over to him every weekend and on holidays. In January this year I got a job in his home town, and moved back to live with him, and I thought it would finally lead us into marriage etc. He used to say he wants to marry me, but he could never say when, nor would he get engaged with me even though we already lived together. I thought he would eventually be able to make up his mind about that, and once I even dragged him to a jeweller's to buy me an engagement ring (ha ha!), to give him a little push in the right direction... (I was advised to do that, my best friend's mother said it's a good way to help a man make up his mind about these things... ha ha ha!)

Anyway, we never got engaged, and I got sick of waiting. I even told him a couple of times that I want us to move on with our relationship, because I want marriage and even kids, and that I'm sick of waiting for him to make up his mind about whether he wants to be with me or not, but he probably didn't take me seriously. The last conversation we had about it was in August, and he said he would think about it and we'd soon talk. Right! The "soon" was in late November, when I finally had the courage to ask him to talk with me. I asked him via e-mail - I didn't have the guts to talk to him face to face, because I was so annoyed with him that I hadn't been able to sleep in two months!

So, he said we'd talk on a Friday night, and on that Friday I sat at home after work, waiting for him. He had gone out for a beer with his workmates, and he had promised to come home early, but heck no! By 9p.m. he still wasn't at home, so I decided to join my mates for a drink or two, and confront him the next day. And so I did. We had a long talk, and I explained him that I wanted more than he was able to give, and that I would not wait any longer, because it just might lead into another five years of waiting, and I can't do that. I also said, that it's no use trying to go on with a relationship, if neither of us is willing to compromise - even though I feel I've compromised a lot, I've changed jobs to be with him, traveled to him on weekends, spent time with his no-so-nice family when I hardly got to meet mine etc. And finally I told him I wanted my freedom more than I wanted him!

The break-up has actually made me feel better than I've felt for awhile now. I can sleep at nights and I'm much stronger, and feel positive about the future. The only problem is that I have no place to go, so I still live with him. It's not easy to see him every day, and sometimes he gets a bit sentimental - he has even asked me to marry him, because he thinks we'll do it anyway in a couple of years... But I've stood my ground, and told him he should have acted when he had the chance, and that it's too late now. I want to move on. So, I'm desperately trying to find a place for me and my cat, to start a new life as a happily single woman.

So, it can go like this as well... and thank God it's Christmas soon, because my ex will spend 2 weeks with his family far, far away from me, and I can do whatever I please - or do nothing. And hopefully I'll soon find my own place and get to start a life without him, which I'm looking forward to!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2004
In reply to: pipsa_s
Wed, 12-15-2004 - 5:17pm
Your story makes me feel really good, the reason my boyfriend and I broke up was pretty much the same thing, I wanted more than he wanted to give- spending lots of time together, planning a future, kids, the whole nine yards. Well we couldn't compromise on that and broke up. I have been sad though, even feeling guilty for bringing it up but your story makes me feel I did the right thing. Thank you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
In reply to: pipsa_s
Wed, 12-15-2004 - 9:32pm
Welcome to the board and thanks for sharing your story. I'm glad to see that you're taking charge of your life and feeling better for it. Good luck on finding a new place to live and keep us posted!!











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