Hard to believe it's been three years...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Hard to believe it's been three years...
4
Sat, 01-28-2006 - 2:28pm

The breaking up part was easy compared to the trying to get over her part. I've come to the realization that it's not going to happen - the getting over her part, I mean. Knowing this and being able to come to terms with it helps somewhat.

I do know that I shouldn't get into relationships or get serious with anyone. Believe me, I've tried to put her out of my mind but I can't. I've enjoyed the company and affections of other women but none have had the same effect on me as did she.

This one-sided love affair ends the day I breathe my last breath. And with that dying breath, I will say for one last time that I love her.

I wonder if she ever thinks of me or has tried to contact me. I wonder if there's any love left in her heart for me. I don't think of this as slow torture. It's not like I'm doing badly. I'm still enjoying life for the most part. It's just all of the nostalgia that remains...her face, her hair, her smell, her humor and intelligence, her feistiness and her sexiness.

And so I begin my fourth year, separate and apart, from the one that I will forever love. Geez. Only about thirty or forty more to go!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2004
Sat, 01-28-2006 - 5:01pm

Well that was very sweet, but bad for you. Often, life is what we expect. You've convinced yourself you'll always love her & will never love another the same way. NO woman (or man) is THAT great, that you should make this huge sacrifice 4ever.

I think you should contact her, try to reunite one last time, then truly make up your mind to move on, get therapy if needed, but make up your mind that you deserve real love too. Then start fresh, get in shape, buy some new clothes, be open to new friends & activities, etc. Stop focusing on what was right about her, & focus on what you didn't like about her. If you can't think of any faults she had, then you're idealizing her into something she's not & never will be, becoz nobody is perfect.

3 yrs is enough waste. Please dont give in to it, & instead, start new, & start really living again. take care.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2005
Sat, 01-28-2006 - 7:57pm
Sometimes we don't choose how our heart feels. We can do everything people say we should do, but our hearts can still feel the same way. I appauld you for accepting it istead of fighting it or thinking there is something wrong with you. My mother died when I was thirteen, my father hasn't even dated in ten years. I truly belive in having "a love of your life" I hope you have a fulfilling and happy life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2005
Sat, 01-28-2006 - 10:07pm

Your post was very sweet, but it also makes me really sad. What is so great about this girl that you feel as though you will never find anyone better? I am sure it has occurred to you that if she really was "the one" for you she would still be with you; so if you know that in your head, why can't you convince your heart?

I know it is very difficult to get over someone; especially if you considered that person the love of your life. If I were in your shoes, I think I would try to find her, just to see where she is at. If your feelings are still this strong, do you have any reason to believe that she might have feelings for you? Does she know that you feel this way?

I hope you don't feel as though I am trying to criticize or attack you or anything; I just feel that maybe if you were to articulate, in writing, why you feel the way you do, you might see that you will be able to feel the same way about someone else in the future. I am very curious as to what this girl has that you don't think anyone else will ever have...

Hang in there, post whenever you're feeling down, we're here to help.

-Nikki
co-cl of Breaking Up is Hard to Do!

Nikki
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Sun, 01-29-2006 - 2:53pm

What's so great about her, you ask? Well, she captured my heart for one thing. I would say it was all about the connection we shared. There has been nothing like it since - nothing even close. Despite the fact that she's an incredibly attractive woman who could have any man she wants, we bonded in that special way that most people can only dream of. From the jokes that were cracked to the finishing of each other's thoughts, we were on the same wavelength in oh so many ways including the bedroom part. Yowza! I could look into her eyes and know without a doubt, that in my heart, this girl was it for me.

It was a very passionate romance that I honestly felt could stand the test of time. She was the one that I could see myself being married to and being happy with for the rest of my life. Obviously, that wasn't the case but that strong passion and immutable connection are things that remain with me to this day.

As I said, I'm over the heartbreak but the memories of a great love just can't be diminished or decreased even with the passing of all this time. I don't think that thoughts of her "haunt" me but rather that I can look back on our time spent together and cherish what we did have. To me, it was pretty special. It wasn't all peaches and cream. Sure, we had our disagreements but who doesn't? I know I'm a sentimental old hack but I can't just flip the switch and put her out of my mind and heart. I've tried in vain and I can say with certainty that it just ain't gonna happen!