Hard, hard day

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Hard, hard day
6
Sat, 10-15-2005 - 9:06am

Hi all...

I've had 2 very good days in a row (Thursday, Friday). I knew it was too quick. Today is Saturday and all I want to do is cry. I miss him so much and just don't understand how he can not fight for us. I know I'm the one who broke up but he knew what he needed to do if we were going to stay together and he just can't. I truly believe he loves me, but I guess just not enough.

I have a friend coming down for the day and I guess it's a good thing. I don't want to be dismal and sad. I'm afraid that I won't be good company.

It's the first day the sun had come out since we broke up over a week ago. You would think the sun would help my spirits, but all it does is remind me that he is gone.

I just want to get better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Sat, 10-15-2005 - 11:02am

It's funny but I prefer a cloudy rainy day to stay in bed and cry. Well, I used to the first couple weeks.

It is good your friend is coming over and it's ok to vent and share with a good friend whom you trust. Spend a little time, sufficient, then move on to other topics..keeping busy is key.

Have you booked your massage for some healing touch? Maybe a pedicure? Do one thing nice for you today!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Sat, 10-15-2005 - 12:31pm
Weekends are the worst, the time you spent the most time together, and I know people say keep busy do other things, but I dont think that helps, at least it doesnt help me. All i do is keep obsessing about what he is doing and where is he and who is he with and its driving me crazy. I dont want to be anywhere else but with him, I sound like a spoiled child, I dont want to go here and I dont want to do that with anyone but him, my friends are pretty much fed up with me. I am pretty fed up with myself, but I cant stop obsessing and missing him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2005
Sat, 10-15-2005 - 3:34pm

I agree weekends are horrible. I thought I was getting better and today I can barely pull myself out of bed. I have been crying all day and I have this horrible pain in my stomach. I long for him to call me. Which I know won't ever happen. He hasn't contacted me since we broke up a month ago. It hurts so bad. I try to keep busy, but I find myself in the same situation you are. I'm glad you have an appointment to see someone on monday. I'm going to make myself an appointment today. I just don't want to waste another valuable minute on longing for him. I think it makes me feel worse knowing that he doesn't care and is out having the time of his life with his new girlfriend. We live in the same city and I don't like leaving my house for the fear that I will run into him and his new girlfriend. I have seen them once already and it seroiusly KILLED me.

This website has helped me so much. Continue coming here when you need encouragement and support. We all are going through the same emotions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Sat, 10-15-2005 - 11:48pm

I dont know if you have seen it, but I saw this movie today called diary of a mad black woman, its about a man who cheats on his wife, throws her out after 18 years of marriage and how she gets her life back, its strange but it gave me hope, I know its just a movie, but it was just what i needed right now, i highly recommend it.

kathy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Sun, 10-16-2005 - 7:49am

Thanks, everyone, for your responses. I am feeling better today (and that's weird for a Sunday, when I'm usually "lower").

Wow, you just never know when it will all hit you again. You can be feeling pretty good one moment, and then Bang...you're in tears.

It's nice to know you're all here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2005
Mon, 10-17-2005 - 9:58am
Hey you guys, I know what you mean about the weekends, it's horrible and I dread it. This may sound crazy, but I was wondering if anyone would be interested in talking over the phone. I don't have a computer on the weekends because when my bf and I split he kept it and the only time I can go on the forum is when I'm at work Mon-Fri. If you are interested my e-mail is smn1940@yahoo.com and I will e-mail you my cell#. I can't seem to talk to my friends any longer, there sick of hearing about it.