The hardest thing...
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| Wed, 05-09-2007 - 12:37pm |
This is definitely NOT the hardest thing for many of you, I'm betting, but it is for me since I didn't know the guy in question for that long, nor were we ever technically together. But I fell pretty hard and am still having trouble coming to grips with the fact that, A - he's hundreds of miles away and B - he's with somebody else. What's been helping me lately is to realize that I've been mourning and so upset over potential, what COULD have been rather than what actually WAS (a wonderful summer, albeit, but we only saw each other six or seven times....nothing compared to what most of you are going through, so don't hate me :) my emotions are just confusing me).
As for what I think is the hardest thing for me, I've been single for years, and it's so difficult for me to believe that I'll fall for anyone as hard or find anyone as good and suited for me as he potentially was. It's stupid, I know, but it's just so hard to believe that ANYONE will come around (I guess I'm in a different position than most here, but the emotions are similar), so when someone actually does, it's hard to let go.
I didn't really have a point to this post, just trying to vent and relate. :)

They do don't they?? So why am I not ok with being single????? THAT'S what pisses me off about myself....sometimes I am fine, honestly, but most of the time...usually when someone good comes into my life and, inevitably, leaves.
I suppose a couple months is fine...I forget how much I hurt when my boyfriend of two years broke up with me (and it was ugly) three years ago, so compared to that, you're right, this is better...I think what's nagging me is that I don't really understand why I'm hurting at all, I haven't even heard his voice in months and months...just the idea of not knowing what could have been....and I also don't want to be one of those people who can't let some irrational past experience/person go...it scares me when I read such things from other people.
It's good to know that I'm not alone, though. :) I'm better now, but I've been really pretty down about it at times...I'm also at a tough point in my life, too, though, so that doesn't help (ie I don't like my job, didn't like my apartment until I moved a week ago, hardly ever see my friends or family..).