The Hardest Weekend Ever

Avatar for jwittke43
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
The Hardest Weekend Ever
1
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 1:26pm

Here is my story....

I met my boyfriend (well I guess I should call him ex) about 2 years ago, well exactly 2 years ago, as our anniversary would have been Thursday. Its a complicated story. I was seperating from my husband and he was on the outs with his wife as she had cheated on him. Well we hit it off and had a beautiful friendship that of course ended up as a relationship. We of course fell in love, and him and his wife had decided to split up. Well we were wonderful together until one incident...did i mention we work together? Well we do, anyhow...there was a company function where he did something that made everyone in the office talk, he did not cheat on me, but it made everyone question what kind of guy he was. And it made me look like a jack a** for being with him. Well that happened about 9 months ago. After it happened I kinda backed off and just got a second job to try and keep my mind off of things. Not dealing with it was the worse thing that could have happened....cause 9 months later, i still get upset when I think about it. Well we had a huge blow up about 2 weeks ago, and I really thought that was the end, it was one of those really bad blow ups...we called each other the nastiest things, he threw my key at me, left and did not speak for a couple days. Well we ended up talking and made up. But things have just not been quite the same since then. But, I was really trying this time, I wanted to make it work and never have a fight like that again. Well Thursday he received divorce papaers from his ex that were less then appealing, she wants whats not hers. So, he is pissy now....and then on Friday we had a small tiff, I went home sick from work (I really was) and did not hear from him on Friday. I texted him on Saturday to ask what the deal was...why i feel so unimportant to him these days, and asked if he wanted space while he went through his divorce. He said he did not know, he did not want added stress, so I text him back and said we will split until things were straightened out in his life. I of course laid in bed like I was dead all weekend. I come to work today, he is not here.

How to I deal, how do I get over the obsessing constantly???

Help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 1:59pm

Sounds like there is enough stress to go around for both of you. You will have to turn your thoughts to yourself and your life. It's one day at a time. Make a list of things you want or need to do and start doing them. Take care of you, pamper yourself. It takes time to heal. You also have to decide what you really want in a relationship.

Every often after a divorce, the first relationship doesn't last as it's usually a transition relationship. Someone that helps you through the rough spots. Then when one or both people start to feel better about themselves and their divorce they realize there are many other things going on in the world, other people, other experiences and some people start to think they may have gotten involved too soon.

Good luck to you.


Carrie